There are days, much like today, where I feel like some sort of mental heroine addict. I’m barely alive. I move from room to room, not really doing much. I go through the motions of work and accomplish what is expected of me without remembering much of it. The worst part is the feeling that I should be doing something. I’m awake up here in my mind, but reality is just out of sync. I’m slowed. I’m mentally slumped over in a hallway.
truthfully, I hate these days more than anything because they surrender my ability to even fight back. I’ve lost my will and my ambition for the moment, and so the idea of even fighting back doesn’t occur to me. I just become a creature of base habits.
But thankfully, I’ve made writing one of those habits. Even laying here in a pit of crumpled uselessness, I put my thoughts into words. They may not be well organized or even very pleasant, but I did it. This ties in with what I said about Selective Apathy; I just decided that this one thing above all else matters, and so it will be done.
And here is the most amazing thing about this >technique: after I wrote this, I’m cured.
I’ve returned to my normal self in some way.It was like a traffic jam in my mind, and once I cleared the way, everything is moving again. All it takes is one small thing.
So next time you feel the same, next time you feel like someone slipped you something that’s just sapped you, pick that one thing and go. Stop giving your fucks to many things and just load up on the one. If you do, you’ll break out of the mental prison you’re in.
