An Open Hand Is Not the Same as Empty

I want to be a listener who encourages people to express themselves more freely because I have an attentive nature makes them feel safe and seen,
I want to be the kind of presence that leaves a lasting impression on someone, making them feel most authentic and comfortable in my company,
I want to fully understand the offer, whether it’s someone’s words, an unexpected days, or music finding its way through a defended thought,
What stands between me and the listener I aspire to be, and is it a skill I haven’t practiced or a protection I haven’t chosen to easily relinquish,
I want to be a listener who allows understanding to arrive before opinion, because the deepest conversations begin with curiosity, not certainty…

I inherited ways of perceiving the world, some have served me, while others have become so ingrained that I no longer see them as walls,
I’ve long believed certain voices deserve my full attention, while others don’t, this sorting that I sometimes miss crucial information because it arrives in a form I’ve learned to dismiss if it doesn’t land in me,
I’ve inherited the reflex to defend my beliefs against change, it’s so fast and practiced that I often win protection before I even know there’s something new to receive,
What self-protective belief about the world’s workings am I defending so effectively that I wouldn’t notice a true and important revelation in its intended form,
I’ve inherited many ways of filtering what I’m willing to hear, so the freedom of listening without them is something I can only imagine and rarely allow myself to experience at all..

I’m learning that accepting the day as it is, rather than as I planned, doesn’t mean giving up on preferences, outcomes, or specific orders,
I’m learning that the open hand isn’t the same as the empty hand, receiving what comes is a practice that coexists with having a direction and doesn’t require me to abandon it to stay present,
I’m learning that the most honest and useful thing I can bring to any room is my genuine willingness to let it reveal something I couldn’t know before entering the space,
Imagine walking into tomorrow with the deliberate intention of being changed by something I encounter, rather than arriving with everything decided and seeking confirmation,
Listening and receiving are the same discipline, it’s the most active and demanding thing I can do in a moment, as it requires me to let go of everything I was holding to pick it up…

I’m still learning to meet the day without my expectations and accept what happens, even if it’s not what I wanted,
I’m becoming the person who hears beyond words, feels beyond sounds, and receives the full, specific vibration of what’s being transmitted, rather than the acceptable version I am trained to find,
I’m still learning to trust that unplanned events are just as important as planned ones, and that I deserve my full and honest presence just as much as anything I could have planned,
What can I release from my expectations today to make room for the actual experience of the day, rather than the one I rehearse before it truly begins,
I’m still becoming, and the practice of becoming will never ever be finished. I’ve finally stopped being ashamed of that, because completion was never the goal. A life fully lived is one that never loses the courage to keep unfolding…

Watchwords:
The room where they were most honestly themselves,
Walls I stopped seeing as walls long ago,
Defending what I believe before I knew it was threatened,
The open hand is not the same as the empty one,
Still becoming and nowhere near done...