One of the things I've often had to struggle with, and still struggle with, is managing expectations. More often than not, people simply tale a look at you and expect some things from you. These things can either be positive or negative.
One of the things often expected (because I'm male) is that I always show strength, that I show strong physical qualities, that I'm always in charge. This one actually comes from the society's general perception of a man.
Instead of the picture above I wanted to post a picture of my lanky self in large glasses. I'm many things, but I don't think I'm intimidating physically. Growing up, my younger sister used to lift me off the ground.
However, I think society has got it wrong when they think physical strength is the measure of how strong a man is. Personally, I think ideas like this will take us back to the stone age when might was right.
There are many ways to be strong, physical strength is just one of them.
Before I delve into my thoughts on being strong, I think we should explore the reasons for strength.
One major reason why people talk so much about strength is that it ensures survival. In the Stone Age, physical strength was everything. In today's world, as we'll see below, social interaction skills can make or mar your life. Whatever your place or time, you need some kind of strength to survive
There's no need to gainsay strength doesn't bring respect and recognition. Although physical strength is mostly respected because it's easy to detect and measure, other forms of strength also inspire respect.
I remember the first time I saw Professor Gbemisola Adeoti (a Nigerian playwright and poet), I was in awe. (It was in a lecture hall and everyone stood up to give a round of applause). If you're not in the arts, you might not realise or regard his literary strengths.
Humans have always tried to be in control. [it's a paradox that the less secured a man is, the more he'll try to control others.] It's true that the strong will always dominate the weak. however, that isn't exclusive to physical strength. In fact, there are many instances where the physically strong will be dominated by those who are physically weak but have some other forms of strength.
To be honest, there's nothing inherently wrong with physical strength; we all need to use our muscles from time to time. Besides strong muscles are indications of a healthy body. The issue here is the overly dependence on physical strength.
For many, they think physical strength is everything. Pity! I like to think that a strong mind (while not being a complete replacement for a strong body) is the best type of strength anyone can have. Furthermore, it's the kind of strength we need to promote growth, peaceful coexistence and development.
First off, the world is changing. We had the Stone Age where physical strength meant a lot. Jungle justice was the order of the day; the strong were always in charge. From there, we moved to the Agricultural Age where physical strength still had a major role but had to give room for mental strength in making the best use of resources.
Fast forward, we had the industrial age. Machines were competing for jobs with men. Machines were built to be stronger, faster with less resting periods. Most people started to focus on their minds while those who relied on their muscles had to settle for menial (sometimes hazardous) jobs
Now, we're swiftly living out what is called the Information Technology Age. Here, your success in life is a function of how much you know, how much problems you can identify and how quickly you can provide effective and efficient solutions. This is the era of the tech geniuses, the scientists, the innovators.
As I type these, we are also entering the Social Intelligence age. Here, the most important factor in deciding if you'll succeed or not is your social interaction skills. Those who relate the best often get to choose the life they want. It's the age of the social media, the age of influencers and empathy.
The goal is this piece is to show that there are many ways to be strong. Each of these strengths have their place and time. In today's world, it's far more beneficial to be able to influence people's actions and inaction through social interactions than exerting force.
In my opinion, whatever skill and/or character trait you possess can be a source of strength. Even experiences can be sources of strength too.
I have a feeling my thoughts are scattered so I'll try to sum it all in a sentence: There are many ways to be strong; above all, choose to get mentally and socially strong
How's that?
