I had just reported for my senior one in high school and was taken to my class by the deputy headmaster. He knocked at the door and Mr Okello the maths teacher let me in. After introducing myself to the class, I made a beeline for the seat at the back like a boss. I had strolled half way down the isle of desks when my left foot; pumped with all the nervousness - hugged one of the desk's left leg and sent me to the floor on all fours. I was humbled like Muhammad Ali did George Foreman. There was a brief silence. The kind that happens in movies before an imminent explosion. Then the explosion came. An explosion of laughter. Like the whole class was high on laughing gas. I wished the earth could open up and swallow me whole. My heart ached and my throat felt stuffed.
Filled with utter embarassement I looked up and saw god and she smiled right at me. She silenced all the noise. She helped me pick my stationery off the floor as I picked my own ass off the floor. I thanked her with my sweaty face that wore an awkward alpaca smile and took my seat.
As I sat in the lunch cafeteria,
“hey moses”
I turned around and there she was again. Smiling. She came and sat right across from me.
“hyy yxy” I responded but barely audible. My mouth could hardly form words. My multiple personalities were disappointed in my default personality. They nodded sideways and jeered silently from within. I cleared my throat.
“the name’s Siima. Natasha Siima” as she offered me a handshake
I held her hand in mine and shook lightly. Her palm was so small it disappeared in mine. Hands as soft as a mink coat made from the fur of several murdered hares. People always said i had soft hands but now they felt as callused as those of an experienced coal miner.
“so what's your other name?”
“huh”
“your other name?”
“makuru. Moses makuru”
“so what was that in class?”
“I kinda fell”
She started giggling and could not stop.
“what’s so funny?”
“ahh I kinda fell” she imitated my voice as she went on giggling
I soon started laughing at myself too
“wow you fell pretty hard. Really gave that floor the business”
“people will never forget this, will they?”
“I hope not”
“mehn”
To be continued...