This article contains naughty words and controversial opinions used for comedic effect.
I split an earlier article into separate parts as it was too long. Apologies to people who previously read it.
So, just hack an inch off the top?
Sexy Hair Cuts
While Ben and Jerry continue their “Holy fuck! I never knew hacked off leper verrucas and grated panda nipple worked!” dumbfounding of the ice-cream masses, South Korea has created a union of 2 things that bed together as well as, well... grated panda and smelly verrucas.
If you’re like me then the closest you’ll have come to a sexual experience in a barber’s shop is wondering whether your sheared hair would get sold on to make a pubic wig for some poor, malting bastard with terminal bell-end cancer.
Korean men on the other hand are blessed with a service that offers to lighten the load off their heads and the one in their marble sized testicles.
After a change of clothes they are lead into a private room to consult with their “stylist” -which can range from a desirable college girl to a diabolical, middle-aged harpee with a fryer tuck style bald patch- about the future of their mop. Feet are cleansed, massages dispensed and then a shitty, no-frills hair cut rounded off with a “happy ending.”
A tip is optional, but only if your haircut matches the one in the magazine you pointed to. Be sure to take your spunk home in a doggy bag so it’s not scooped up to be used as styling products for the next client.
Be warned. The end hairstyle could look like it was done by this guy while he gave a reach around to Michael Jackson’s peeling ghost and took tequila shots in both eye sockets.
The tragic outcome when Lion from The Wizard of Oz got banned from being Jewish and a Neo-Nazi on the same day for his sitting on the fence, playing both sides hair cut
