If you didn’t have the kind of parenting that helped you develop self-confidence, it’s not too late. Find someone you respect, in a field you can love, and ask that person to be your mentor. Most people are flattered by the request and will do what they can to help you.
Mentoring isn’t therapy or even life coaching. It is a process by which someone who has more knowledge and experience in certain areas than you, and who is willing to share what she has learned, helps you navigate the rapids of work and life.
The first step, after you’ve found each other, is to discuss and agree on the nature and goals of your relationship. This conversation will set the tone for your future endeavors together, so take your time with it.
You can have mentors for a number of areas in your life. A mentor on the job can be worth his or her weight in gold. Your relationship mentor can help guide you through the inevitable ups and downs of life with another person. You can even have a fishing or tennis mentor, which is different from taking lessons because the mentor is there for your overall well-being, not just to teach you how to “be better at it.”
Having a mentor in any area of your life can be valuable. I seldom see mentor/mentee relationships that don’t work out for the best. Everyone eventually outgrows their mentor, and then the relationship morphs into something else, but the bond that was created will not go away (unless you want it to). The good news here is that you can always pick up the phone and give your mentor a ring if you’re dealing with something you’d like to run by him.
The confidence you get from having someone nearby whom you trust, who knows what she is doing, and knows who you are, is a tremendous gift. If you have never had a mentor, it’s not too late. If it’s been a while, then maybe getting another one is a good idea, because the problems we face in the world today are not going away; they are just getting more complicated.
When confusion strikes, and we don’t know what to do in the moment, it rattles our self-confidence. Talking with a mentor is a great way to reinforce your abilities and remind you that you have the smarts and the skills, as well as another person to help you vanquish the challenges of life and love.
Keep up the good work!
“Confidence is a very fragile thing.”—Joe Montana