As a student, I tell myself so many lies just to make me feel okay. It has always been a bad thing for me to always tell myself I’m not doing anything right. I always downplay my actions even when others think I’m doing well. In school, I easily feel pessimistic about my grades. I find myself always doubting how well I’ll do after an exam because deep down, I feel I haven’t read enough.
One lie that I always tell myself as a student then and even now is that “I won’t do well in a certain course.” It is a lie because by the grace of God, I haven’t failed any courses since my years in school. Well, I tell myself that lie because for some reasons, it pushes me to give my best. When I know I’m not doing well at something, I always tell myself the worse part of it so I’ll be sure to prepare better.
Another lie I know I tell myself sometimes too is that I’ll read starting from the first week of resumption, but then I only end up reading towards when my exams are close. Right now, I’m in my final year in school, and this is my last opportunity to do better and most especially, stop lying to myself about these things and just do the work. Interestingly, this session feels like it will be different because I plan to give it my all. After all, it’s my last session as an undergraduate of Physiology.
Today, the HOD (head of department) came to give us a lecture on our performances for the last session, and his review of us as final year students was really sad. He encouraged us to take things more seriously this session because it’s our only chance to get it right. I really pray and hope to do my best and do really well. Right now, the only challenge I’m foreseeing is balancing work and schooling, but by God’s grace, I know He will lead me all the way.
There was a time when I was really consistent with doing things, and I remember telling a friend how I’m praying that I’ll carry that same attitude into my studies. I’m praying that I’ll be able to start that this semester. I want to be honest with myself to feel good and not telling myself any more lies. I believe that I can do it as long as I stay consistent, so I’m just going to keep the pace.
This is my response for the Hive student prompt. Thank you for reading through. 💜
