Now, I know how that sounds, but hear me out.
This time, I'm actually not even gonna complain about my own friends, but their friends. I was talking to someone the other day, and she said she was meeting one of her friends for coffee. Now, I vaguely know this person, but well enough to know she is as dumb as can be. Which I didn't hesitate to remind my friend. Which her boyfriend doesn't hesitate to remind her either. Which my friend knows, actually, and openly acknowledges.
So it got me thinking -- we probably all know stupid people. Disclaimer, by that I don't mean someone you disagree with, but someone who is genuinely gullible, poorly educated, and ignorant. As is the case of this girl I'm describing. My friend knows this girl is uneducated (I mean in the sense she does not read or seek to cultivate or develop her thinking, not academically), and willfully ignorant. Just the other day, my friend described this girl as someone who glimpses 10 seconds on TikTok and considers herself "up on things".
So why are they still friends?
Now, I know why my friend stays friends with her -- they have others in common, and a lot of shared history. I'm sure, in some ways, they are affectionate. And yet ignorance and stupidity by choice is one of the most noxious, harmful things contributing to the demise of our society today. It's precisely these willfully ignorant people who give rise to pitchfork movements without the proper research. It is these people who decry and "cancel" other people or institutions based on hearsay, and who will not tolerate compromise, or meet in the middle.
As such, is it really kind or acceptable of us to engage with these people just because of shared history? I ask because I know people like that, too. And obviously, when I look at them, it's "a different matter". But is it, really? Now, some of these people may be open to new ideas and may, in time, change radically into better, more educated people. But let's be fair, the amount of determination that requires is astounding, and uncommon. People don't just wake up one day, think gosh, I'm really not doing my bit for society, and for future generations, maybe I should stop listening to the crap the MSM spews, and start educating myself in all possible directions.
They don't.
Some of the more "open" ones will go "oh, really?" or even take moderate interest when you try to open their eyes, but most will retreat to their bubble. Because it's easier than uprooting your lifestyle, and giving up endless hours of scrolling to read, or listen to a podcast, or do something that might actually get the old brain whirring.
I know what I'm suggesting is sort of punishing these people by withholding your friendship, and that's not very nice (not to mention practical). Besides, they wouldn't be "shamed into a better self", they'd just think you're a dick.
Are you in some way accountable for your friends? Is it perhaps your responsibility, if you see them slacking intellectually, to call them out on it?
While it may not affect us very much if your friend hasn't read the complete works of Marcel Proust, it will affect me if they are gullible, easily inflamed, and socially self-righteous. So maybe it is within our responsibility, as friends, to try and curb such behavior.
At the very least, being friends with stupid people isn't helpful for you. At all. It may feed your vanity, because you've wised up to things, and aren't socially clueless, but then, at best, you're smartest in a room of stupid people. Besides, constant association with people who refuse to engage or who wish to grow will eventually make you stop.
So, should you indulge stupid friends, and overlook their shortcomings for sentimental or selfish reasons (lest you remain isolated)?
No.
At the same time, it's easier said than done. You can't quit them. Encouraging them to grow (without their first acknowledging that need) is dicey, at best. *So then, where does that leave you?