When Guadalupe Martinez had a sex-change operation and became a nun, everybody in the godforsaken country town of Yaguaraparo saw that as the consecration of the curse of the man with the biggest penis in the world. No one can say he did not try everything to live a manly life. It was in his desperate trying that his life became legend.

Guadalupe grew up in a town where boys and girls shared their innocence and time in an Eden-like environment. That until other parents realized his manhood could not be restrained by regular boy’s underwear. Guadalupe’s parents had come from Cuba and ended up in this remote town on the North-Easter part of Venezuela after fleeing Batista’s dictatorship. Guadalupe’s destiny will be connected to a cousin of his, who fled the island some years later from another dictator, Castro, and who will be instrumental in ending an American president’s career and turning a porn star into an anti-porn activist.

When Guadalupe was about five years old he was playing in the river with a little girl called Maura. They had seen bigger kids and adults catch shrimps, catfish and other river creatures with their bare hands. So here they were in a muddy backwater pool, up to their chests, coming at each other trying to corner some fish when Maura victoriously announced:

As Guadalupe grew up, stories of the size and shape of his penis only grew wilder. He had avoided at any cost to be seen naked by his parents or relatives. None of his friends would risk peeking or blatantly asking him to show it without putting their manhood and reputation at risk. According to legend, his penis was so big and strong that when he peed in the forest, he’d slam it against a sandbox tree to wring it! If you have seen the thorny bark of a jabillo tree you get the idea.

Guadalupe was not one bit pleased by these outlandish accounts. He never had a proper sexual initiation and he was never able to pursue his only love interest, Maura, who only grew more distant with every ever scarier story about his childhood friend. In these godforsaken lands, sixty or seventy years ago, it was pretty “normal” for any young man to have his first sexual encounter with some farm animal that would allegedly prepare him for the real thing. It would be still pretty normal had they not become so poor that now it is really hard to find some farm animal or beast of burden in those towns. Poor Guadalupe did not even have that. He was circumcised by a goat’s bite when he was 13 and kicked in the nuts by a mule when he was 15. Both animals were supposedly horrified by what they saw and reacted as their instincts best suited the occasion.

Young Guadalupe grew so frustrated and embittered that he started to allow those daring enough to try, to walk him down perdition road. He even enjoyed being called Jesus. He got this nickname after some miraculous occurrences were attributed to his attempts to consummate some sexual encounters. It was said he made Juana la muda talk, she had been born mute. He allegedly made Socorro not only walk but run; she had been confined to a wheel chair for more than 20 years after falling from a horse. He was told she would be his perfect match given the fact that she could not feel anything from the waist down. Guadalupe must have hit the right cord down there because Socorro said good bye to the wheelchair and the town. It was also said that he made a blind prostitute see again. She had challenged him in public, teased him in all ways possible, and bragged about her flexibility and insatiable appetite, a sense she developed the most to compensate for her lost sight. She saw things so well after she tried Guadalupe that she even quit her occupation and also moved out to start a new life.

But the miracle conservative people in town actually thanked Guadalupe for was his making Lolo, a famous loud and flashy gay man, give up his homosexuality and establish a church that would be later adopted by conversion therapy believers.

At some point Guadalupe was distraught. He felt condemned to be nothing but a freak show, unable to love and be loved. It was the 70s and with the prosperity that turned Venezuela into a Saudi nation, as they called it, it was pretty easy for the average folk to travel abroad, especially to the United States. Thus, encouraged by some of his friends, especially by his cousin Eugenio Martinez, and the hype about American pornography, personified in actors like John Holmes, Guadalupe gave Pornlywood a try. Legend has it that Eugenio had inadvertently given up the title for a famous movie while drinking at a bar in Miami with a certain Virgilio Gonzalez, back in 1969. A certain Gerard Damiano overheard Eugenio saying that “it would take a woman with a really deep throat to handle Guadalupe’s machete.” Years later, Eugenio and Virgilio will be arrested at the Watergate Office Building in Washington D.C., five days after Damiano’s movie, Deep Throat was released. Ironically, that was the pseudonym of the whistleblower who brought Nixon down. It was said that Nixon himself (already out of office), through Eugenio Martinez, facilitated Guadalupe’s arrival to the States in 75 with the sole mission, unbeknownst to him, of providing sweet revenge against the actress who popularized the term. The next year Lovelace went bananas and became an anti-porn activist.

While the informant Deepthroat’s identity eventually came to light, Guadalupe’s went into obscurity. It is said that once in a motel room he opened the bible on Mathew 5:30. That was enough revelation for him. He took advantage of his being in the most advanced country in the world to get rid of his heavy burden with the money he got for changing Linda Lovelace's life. Thus, he became Sor Guadalupe. She allegedly died in the convent of the Hermanas de la Caridad del Cobre, still unloved and unknown, except by one nun who had previously been a prostitute in a godforsaken town.