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That night Mother called and told me, in three days Mbak my oldest brother Fira wants to move into his new home. Incidentally I was again on leave of work, Mom asked me to go home to Jogja.
"Sunday mbakyu you moved home, go home ya, son! You want to introduce you to her son Mr. Rudi. "
For a moment I was silent at the end of the sentence that Mom had said. "Mother would want to fix me up again," I thought.
"Widi does not like to be married like that, Mom," I tried to reject Mother's plan, but Mother continued to persuade.
"His son Mr. Rudi is handsome, well. It's just as beautiful as this beautiful Mother's daughter. "
After that I did not know what to say let alone give understanding to Mother. I do not like my mother's plans, but I do not want my mother disappointed either. Before I could answer, my mother said again. "An arranged match if it suits what is wrong. If it does not work, it does not go on. "That's how Mom reassured me. I was silent for a long time and thought, before I approve of Mom's request.
I can not believe why Mom is so excited about asking me to get married soon? Yet my age is still very young. Just a week ago I was celebrating my twenty-first birthday. "Aah never mind, any parent would want to see his son happy. If his son is happy, as a parent he would also be happy, "I thought.
Saturday morning finished the morning prayers, I opened the cabin luggage I had prepared from last night. In it has been arranged clothes, mobile phone charger, and other items that I need during my hometown. Not forgetting I brought a print out of the morning train Lodaya train that will take me from Bandung Hall Station to Tugu Railway Station Yogyakarta. After that I rushed out of the kostan to say goodbye to the boarding house, as well as entrust the key to my room.
The atmosphere outside is still very quiet and dark, not seen the usual bright light radiating horizontally on the horizon line. After my good-bye to the boarding house, I swung my steps toward the gate.

At half past seven, I arrived at Hall Station, there was still another half hour before my scheduled departure, I decided to have breakfast first. After breakfast, I rushed to the station waiting room. Not long wait, Lodaya train early morning that will take me to Tugu Yogyakarta Station arrived.
Mileage for eight hours, I interrupt by reading the book I had prepared before leaving from kostan. At three o'clock I arrived at Tugu Station. There have been waiting for Mbak Fira and mas Agung, they did deliberately pick me up.
Twenty minutes from Tugu Station, the car driven by Agung stopped and parked right in my yard. Alhamdulillah, I arrived safely after a long and tiring journey. It was nice to meet and hang out with the people I love. Tiredness on the trip paid off already, when I saw their happy smile. Mother, Father, mbak Fira, mas Agung, a lot of time and stories with those who have missed, since I decided to migrate to the Land of Pasundan.
After throwing myself for thirty minutes, I stepped into the kitchen. From the moment I heard Mom and Mbak Fira were busy cooking. But my intention to help them is not accomplished. When I arrived in the kitchen, they had finished cooking. But I saw something strange, Mom and mbak Fira make the menu quite a lot of cuisine. Curious, I asked Mom.
"Mom, how can you cook a lot?"
"There's a special guest coming in tonight."
"Special guest ... who, ma'am?"
"Later that night Mr. Rudi's family wants to come here." I remembered my conversation via phone with Mom the other day, while Mbak Fira only a small smile next to me.
After the Isha prayers were congregated, our family gathered in the living room, many stories full of laughter in the warmth of togetherness that night. Suddenly the phone at my house rang, mas Agung immediately picked up. Just a minute, Agung handed the receiver to Mother. I do not know what Mom is talking about with the person on the other end of the line. After the phone was closed, I saw a sad look on my mother's face.
"What's up, Mom, how do you look sad?" I asked, but Mom just kept quiet. Not long after that Mother hugged me.
"Nothing, honey," my mother answered.
But I do not believe, "Mother must be hiding something," I continued.
While rubbing my shoulder, Mother said. "Mr. Rudi's family did not come here, because Wanti's wife suddenly did not feel well."
I paused. If it just came to vanish, my mother's facial expression could not be that sad, there must be something else that you hid from me. That night I really could not sleep, a lot of questions were circling in my mind.
Sunday morning, I'm getting ready to help Mbak Fira pack, preparing to move home in the afternoon. When I came, Mas Agung and Mbak Fira again busy tidying up the things to be brought. They did not notice me coming, from where I heard their conversation. Apparently om Rudi and his family canceled last night not because aunt Wanti not feeling well, but because her son run away from home and rejected the arranged match plan, my mother just looks very disappointed.
And the thing that most cuts my heart, when the neighbors around the house know the news, whoever spread it. It was a big blow to my big family. I do not care about his son Rudi blur, which I'm worried about my mother's health began to decline after the events that night.
I no longer enjoy the holiday atmosphere that should be fun while in my hometown. After I saw my condition getting better, I decided to go back to Bandung.
Wednesday morning, Mas Agung who escorted me to Tugu Station. In the afternoon I arrived at Bandung Hall Station.
After getting off the train, at the station exit was the voice of a man calling my name.
"Widi!" I turned to the source of the voice, it turns out mas Indra, my office friend who also came from Jogja.
"Abis back home yes?" Asked Indra mas.
"Yeah mas ... nah, mas Indra ngapain at the station, want to change the profession become a machinist?"
"The truth is I want to be station security," said Indra mas while laughter.
"I'm serious, Mas."
"Pick up a friend again."
Not long ago, a white man came to us. The man greeted Indra mas, then mas Indra introduced it to me.
"Widi, this is my friend, Joe. He also just came from Jogja. Looks like you're a train. "
A moment later the man reached out to me saying his name and we got acquainted. From that brief introduction, I knew Joe was coming to Bandung for the holidays.
Since the introduction at the station at that time, I started close to Joe, he often contacted me. Joe is fun, humorous, considerate, and I feel very comfortable when I'm with him.
The days in the rest of the work leave, I went through by accompanying Joe visited some tourist attractions around Bandung. Tangkuban Perahu, the last tourist place we visited. Nothing, we're so very close. I began to feel something was missing, when Joe forgot to remind me to just eat and pray. It seems that Joe and I have the same feeling, hopefully it's not just my feeling.
My encounter with Joe, slowly made me forget the bitter incident a few days earlier, when I was in my hometown. The incident that made my mother fell ill, because the attitude of his son om Rudi.
That night Joe came to pick me up, he asked me to accompany him to enjoy the night atmosphere in the city of Bandung. On the way, Joe told me, tomorrow afternoon he wants to go back to Jogja. He also expressed his desire to move to Bandung.
I am shocked. "Why change jobs? Is not it nice to work in Jogja, can be closer to the family? "
"I started baseball at work in Jogja. At home too many problems and it makes me more baseball betah. I want to work here, so I can stay close to you. "
The tip of the phrase spoken by Joe spread a lot of questions in my head.
"Is that as important as me?"
Joe then looked at me. "I want you to be a part of my life. I love you Widi, "said Joe.
I smiled nervously.
"Why just a smile? I'm serious! I want to marry you. I want you to be Mother for my children someday. Widi, you want to be part of my life? "
Joe's question made me even more nervous. I stayed quiet for a long time, while Joe pressed on me.
I can not lie for the taste that lately has begun to grow in my heart. The feeling that I can not hide anymore.
"Yes, I love you, Joe," I said quietly.
"Excuse me, I can not hear clearly, can it be repeated again?"
Joe seemed to deliberately provoke me who looked nervous.
"I love you too!" I replied with a higher voice pressure than before.
Then Joe took my hand and whispered.
"Thank you, dear."
As we continued walking, we occasionally stared at each other, with happy smiles floating around.
After that we stopped at a seafood restaurant for dinner. After eating, I reopened the conversation that had been delayed before.
"You said there was a family problem. Excuse me, if I'm silly to ask, can not internal problems be solved well, without having to avoid them? Again, sorry if I'm sassy. "
Joe was silent again, not a word came from his lips. He looked at me with a look that seemed to be describing his inner turmoil. For a long time he was silent, before saying again.
"I have difficulty understanding Mama and Papa. They were trying to match me with Papa's business partner, but I refused. How could I marry a woman I did not know at all? And I think the plan of Mama and Papa is weird, because now is not the time of Siti Nurbaya anymore. "He paused, closing his eyes and sighing. "My goal to come to Bandung is not just a holiday, but this is my way to avoid the matchmaking plan," lid Joe.
Hearing Joe's story, made me think of the bitter events that I experienced when I was in my hometown.
"Do not think Joe is his son Rudi om and aunt Wanti," I thought. But I tried to dismiss the thought, maybe Joe's just happened to be the same as my story. I tried to feed Joe. I remembered my mother's words. "An arranged match if what fits? If it does not work, it does not have to go on, "I said.
"My mind has not gotten there yet, what is on my mind right now is to go back to Jogja to apologize to Mama and Papa, because I have not been able to please and fulfill their wishes. After that I'll introduce you to Mama and my dad. "
I was silent, with a sense of curiosity still buzzing around my mind.
After that I tried to lure Joe. "Your story is similar to the story of Rudi's son Om and Wanti's aunt, my father's friend."
Joe gasped. "Do you know Mama and Papa me?"
Apparently my guess is right, Joe his son om Rudi and aunt Wanti.
After that I felt my spirit hovering somewhere where he was going. I really do not think, the man who was in front of me, the man whose name recently adorn the niche kalbuku, is a person who has incised the wound in my heart, also my family. Still looming in my mind my mother's sad face, until she fell ill. My tears spilled instantly, my breath heavy, inside my mind raging anger and hatred that seemed to be exploding like a time bomb. I thought I wanted to scream with all my might, to spill all the inner burdens I could no longer hold.
"You have hurt me, my mother and my big family. Why you have to, Joe? Now the woman you rejected is in your presence, may you be content to embarrass me and my big family, to make my mother sick. "
After that Joe tried to calm me, many times I heard apologies spoken from his lips, but I did not speak a word. Until finally he drove me back to kosan. On the way, I'm still silent, even though Joe is trying to talk to me, I do not care, I'm just silent.
At half past four in the afternoon, there was a short message on my phone, I opened it from Joe.
"Widi, I left at four, now I'm at the terminal, Indra who brought me. I went to Jogja by bus. I hope you have forgiven me, before I go back to Bandung. "
Once the message from Joe, but I did not reply. I feel so mean to treat Joe like that, but the longing and affection that is embedded in the bottom of my heart is still frozen with an ego that I have not been able to paralyze.
The night after Isha, my handphone rang, I raised it mas Indra.
"Assalamualaikum, Widi!"
"Waalaikumsalam. What's in Indra? "
I heard the sound of mas Indra stung, like holding back tears.
"Joe!"
"What's wrong with Joe, mas Indra?"
"The bus that Joe was driving had an accident. Joe was taken to the hospital, but his life was not helped. "
My whole body was frozen to hear the last sentence spoken by Indra mas. I could not say anything more, until finally the phone in my hand fell to the floor crashing.
"Joe, do not leave me!"
My lips trembled with tears spilled with thousands of regrets embedded in the bottom of the heart.
My handphon lying on the floor again rang, I felt like I did not have the energy to reach it, my body feels weak, until finally I can no longer remember the incident after that.
When I woke up at dawn, my head was dizzy, my eyes were swollen. With a weak body, I force myself to stand for prayer. After the prayer I reach the mobile phone that is still stuck on the floor, there are six missed calls and one short message from mas Indra.
"Widi, are you all right? Tomorrow at two noon I wait at Husein Sastranegara Airport. I've ordered two tickets. "

That afternoon me and Indra mas fly to Jogja, to help drive Joe to his final rest. I still can not stop my crying, I feel stupid and very sorry to have ignored Joe before he left me for good.
After returning from the funeral, mas Indra pulled out a flower and a letter with a light blue colored envelope from his bag. He gave the flower and the envelope to me.
"Yesterday before leaving, Joe left this for you."
Slowly the blue-colored envelope I unwound, then pulled out a piece of paper tucked into it.
For you my soul mate, Widiana Aurora.
I do not know what to pour on this piece of paper.
Even a scratch of gold ink will not be able to represent my feelings.
As I write this letter, my heart is seized with regret and guilt that I can not describe. I know, I have made a mistake that made you and your family hurt, I am sorry and very, very sorry. Hopefully the sorry door is still open for me.
After arriving in Jogja later, I want to meet your mother, our mother.
I hope you will forgive me, which has disappointed him to the point of illness, at the same time I will ask my blessing, for our marriage.
Honey, would you marry me?
I want you to always stay with me, until we get old.
Together we take care of and raise our children someday,
in a loving simple home.
Behind him I will make a very beautiful garden for you.
The garden in which grows thousands of flowers that do not wither when the seasons change.
The garden above which circled the rainbow with the iridescent color.
As the evening approaches, there we settle down to enjoy the orange-covered twilight.
I'm sure you'll love it.
Honey, I leave first yes, pray for me to arrive in Jogja.
From me who loves you
Joe Al Farizi
"I'll paint your face in a cloud, so I can look at you every time. Kititipkan longing for the wind, at dusk, hoping orange in the afternoon sky to take you home for me..