When I was about 13 years old, I had a best friend named Nikita (I’m changing the name because she’s my friend on social media). We liked the same tv shows, were mad for Harry Potter and were in love with one direction. We became even closer during the end of our primary school days and she often came over after school and during breaks to talk about our crushes and basically act like your standard teenagers.
My grandmother lives next door, it’s a common norm in Fiji to live in a neighborhood that consists of all your family and they always seem to be over at each other’s houses, sharing what they cooked for dinner or gossip about what ‘Leeta’s daughter wore out today”. One day, Nikita was over for a sleepover and excitement was high because we had gotten our hands on a pirate copy of the new paranormal activity movie. my grandmother came over later that evening and my friend greeted her and went into my room. I was about to follow her when my grandmother pulled me towards her and said “When you go to high school, don’t make friends like her okay?”. I was dumbfounded and the only thing that came out of my mouth was huh. My mum was in the room as well and I glanced at her but she just looked away. So I looked at my grandmother and said:
Me: “What do you mean?”
Grandmother: “Have you seen her?”
Me: “Yes of course, she’s my best friend.”
Grandmother: “Well she is ugly and as black as night like a devil and you can do better”.
At this point my mum defused the situation by starting a conversation with my grandmother and ushered me to my room. As I entered my room and saw my friend sitting on my bed, I felt so guilty because I felt like she was insulted in my house. Even though she didn’t hear a single word said about her, I felt like I had let her down by her being subjected to that kind of negativity in my home.
At that time, I wasn’t able to respond to my grandmother the way I should have because of the shitty ‘respect your elders at all times’ rule and also because I was a dumb 13 year old. However, I will always remember the anger I felt that day at this type of mindset in Indians that skin color determines how you’re going to be treated by society. That you are going to be an outcaste in the Indian community if you are dark skinned. That day made me lose all respect for my grandmother. She was always a vile person but I had always looked past that but I couldn’t do it anymore. I realized that condoning it made me part of the problem.
I will not stand by if you are discriminating anyone for their race and skin color, for whatever reason. The Indian caste system may have been abolished but traces of it remain like poison in the system that still gets spread to the new generation from parents and grandparents.
