If you are a victim of long term abuse, it is safe to assume that there weren't a lot of people around you that cared, otherwise you wouldn't be in the situation that you are today.
The past is the past there is nothing you can do to change it, but unfortunately the abuse from the past weakened and damaged you to the point that you are now so vulnerable that you are constantly attracting abusive people in your life or you might have a problem attracting anybody in your life.
You see unfortunately you were dealt a really bad hand, predators attack the weak member of a species, so the more abuse you experienced in the past and weaken by it the more likely it is to experience even more abuse in the future.
Not like there is something wrong with vulnerability, there are two types of vulnerability, the type that you have to experience in order to grow and the type of vulnerability that screams I am broken and damaged, this type of vulnerability is like blood in the water for sharks. It will attract all the wrong people and paradoxically reject all the good people.
You desperately need an allay someone to help you to protect you but the people that were the most close to you that should fulfil that purpose hurt you and left you to fend by yourself.
The general instinct human being have when we are sick is to really isolate ourselves, I think that this is probably the best course of action to take until you manage to put yourself back together, that actually makes sense. However when you don't know what to do in order to heal, you are looking at a very long period of solitude, if you are experience just the regular grief you are looking at 3 to 6 months depending on the severity of the situation.
When it comes to recovering from long terms abuse this takes people a very long period of time in general, years to decades sometimes.
So now you find yourself in a vicious cycle, where your past is damaging your present. You desperately need people in your life but you either fail to attract anybody or you are constantly attracting only abusive people. This unfortunately won't change until you don't get better, and you stop sending the wrong signals in to the world.
You have to find what works it is the only way out of this cycle, exhaust all the options, read all the books, leave no stone unturned. You can't let the bad people win, this is your job this is the job that was assigned to you just because is hard it doesn't mean you have to give up, everybody is tired. There is no excuse, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP EARLY! You can lose a fight but the war is not over.
