I've always been an observant guy in many ways, I mean Ive been able to percieve things clearly in people's behaviour that usually give me some clues of what they want or don't from me or others.
I can tell easily when I'm not wanted in one place and in that case I vanish cause I fucken hate that sensation and don't impose my presence to anyone. There are some others whose perception apparently doesn't work well enough to notice it though.
When younger there was this friend of mine that, no matter their reaction( acceptance or rejection) kept approching to any girl in the nightclub just to pick her up for a one night affair with no shame at all. If rejected he jumped to the next target as many times as necessary, he could spend the night doing that. He was rejected a lot, but he didn't care about it, eventually he could convince a girl and complete his mission for the night. I couldn't do that, I could smell rejection and if so I didn't even say a word.
I'm still young and haven't gone bad my self through life in sex but even if the contrary had happened, there's a code in my book that clearly says "Never pay for sex you fool". And I haven't paid...and never will.
The thing is that, among any other busyness services that people provide, this one(sex) if it can be as such regarded, I'm not willing to pay for it, as much effort as the service provider makes I'll always be forced and have an implicit rejection fee, no matter how good and professional she might be.
I know what you're thinking rascal, AI partner won't have such a thing as feelings to accept or reject skills implied, well, you go for it, not me, I'd still be paying for sex and I'm not doing that, no I won't, not that I'm stingy, it's not about the money, that could be, struggle is hard these days, but it ain't the main reason.
Besides, my sex thing doesn't reduce to the drilling thing, you inow? I need way more than that to turn on myself that neither AI partner nor a rental one would be able to provide.
Turning me on?
Well it's very easy and it's also complicated, my turning on process has a phisical element implied but's not the most important, the essential comes out of circumstances, seduction, a look, a situation, a complicity moment, a middle smile, a "come and take, this is yours, but gotta ingeniously get to it"...
Yes, some nice jumping butt used to turn on my lights to focus it, but that's not turning on, that's just heads up, just hunter's mode alert, turning me the heck on requires also intelligence, ohh, intelligence can do turn me the fuck on man...
Hey..., women intelligence, women intelligence (reaffirmation echoing just in case).
Turning me off?
That's the easiest. The lack of it(intelligence) turn me of easily, as well as superficiality and the lack personal hygiene.
Some years ago I used yo be a Public Finance Auditor and there was this gourgeous chick at work. She was physically beatiful with a couple of shiny sexy green eyes that hunter's moded me at the speed of light. There was a nice approach and and a short but intense and interesting mating period that along that along with her phsical attentiveness turned me on easily, she was married though, bit still I putted her down and took her to an intimate engagement battle. In privacy, everything was different, her conversations were absurd, superficial and banal, I almost dismissed her from the place, but the inexperienced and a bit superficial hunter inside me insisted on trying that gifted and beautiful body. I had to make quite an effort to sword her properly because her beauty didn't compensate for her lack of intelligence, silly and out of place comments. That day I learned a valuable lesson. Have you?
Happy?: That's a privilege here we all don't have acces to, even being a state of mind, but, can count some things that provide satisfactions in some specific moments that along with freedom could build a happy state for me. Why freedom? Cause it is the starting base for happiness, and the base to sustain it (happiness), no freedom, no happiness.
That said, let's point the pleasure that provides me feeling my self useful in any way(creation, fixing, helping, teaching, etc). Singing and writing provide much satisfaction as well, wether I do it right or wrong in some opinions which is alright and I give a damn as long as they both provide me happy moments. Seeing my kids happy and healthful makes me very happy and providing safety to my family too. Finally, my wife, she makes me very happy.
Sad?: It would be a long list, but in the sake of brevity I'll reduce it.
Some "some humans" lack of humanity behaviours such abuse, opportunism, greed, abuse of power and unscrupulousness make me sad, angry and disappointed at the same time. The lack of freedom we now live in under an unequaled and abusive system much alike to a prision makes me sad and upset as well. When something I put effort on turns out wrong, it's sad for me, it also is talking about sad things, so I'll stop right now.
