Last week I came back from a 15 days work trip to france. I got the chance to visit some places and do some activities other than work so the trip was kind of enjoyable. Before I start boasting about the cliché photos I took and the typical tourist stuf I did (which may be the topic of a future post, all positive and fun), I like to get some thoughts out of my chest first.
once you start wondering in the streets and talking to the locals, you can easily notice that there is more than one France. One for the natives and one for the rest of us. Tourists and immigrants and even grand children of immigrants. The invisble veil that separates the two is unseen but it is undeniable. It's not always felt after blatant racist acts, mind you, sometimes it's just that they are aware you are not one of them and they start treating you differently.
One of the discussions that stuck in my mind was with a french bar tender/waiter in a village near Bordeaux. He started a funny narration of the mess that is happening in the french government and the drama between the parties. Then, naturally, we got to the topic of how the French have the right to love their country despite everything and how even the non-natives have the obligation to either love France or hide their dislike.
Here I sarcastivally said "Tu l'aimes ou tu la quitte." and my boss, next to me, agreed with a nod so energetically that it was clear he wanted to say the same thing and was so happy to hear it from me that he missed the sarcasm in my words. Or maybe French people don't understand sarcasm?
Anyway, I said it because I know many french people think that way and I found it ridiculous. Because to me, you can't love a country 100% and be so devoted that you find it offensive when other people point out its flaws. Every country has its flaws! My love for Tunisia didn't blind me to the lack of opportunities and the intolerance and sometimes even racism of many people here. When someone from Senegal for example tells me that Tunisia isn't treating him well, I believe him and I try to understand how things can be improved. Not saying I would fix it singlehandedly but I would at least listen. I wouldn't tell him you have to Love Tunisia or leave it at once.
French people, or at least every french person in that room finds it annoying for a Tunisian to say that France has flaws. The waiter told us he has a Tunisian friend he knows for a long time. This friend has married a Tunisia woman and brought her to France. What the waiter finds offensive is that the wife has glasses paid for by the French healthcare system and her husband still speaks badly about France. (Shame on him haha)
Neither the time and place nor the listeners encouraged me to speak my mind.
In that moment I wanted to say that France takes a ridiculous amount of taxes from the husband in exchange for the healthcare it offers. He must have paid those glasses a hundred times. He must have struggled daily against discrimination and annoying remarks to find a job and make it through every day.
Other than that, loving a country, or disliking it, isn't always about rational reasons or personal experience. It's more often about one shoking event or one incident that makes you make up your mind and then look for arguments to support your judgement. Maybe This unanimous Tunisian friend had a grandfather who died in the mines of Tunisia when it was occupied by France. No one can deny the deaths of Tunisians by the hands of the French army before the independance or by the hands of the exploiting french companies that took everything that had value in Tunisia back then and hired Tunisian workers to risk their lives and do the heavylifting. You can't force a grandson of a victim of France (and those are a big portion of the north African countries) to love France, of all countries.
Some would think themselves entitled to France's infrastructure, since it was built not by the French genious but by the French cruelty and theft according to them. Those people find it natural for them to enjoy what France offers without being grateful for it. Without feeling obliged to love France. A dangerous way of seeing things, I know. But that's how many people feel. And I honestly can't blame them much.
I wish there were more freedom of speach in the air that day so I could put these remarks out there and hear their responces. Such a raw idea has to be debated to be polished and get more mature and relevant. It would be great if anyone here wanted to add to the conversation.
All photos in this post are my own
