What is your favorite maxim?

As a father, I am constantly looking for little pearls of wisdom to bestow at the feet of my children (translation: I am trying to find catchy little phrases that might prevent my offspring from being complete ass-hats when they grow up). I love when these are in the form of simple maxims similar to those of Ben Franklin like "a stitch in time saves nine", "well done is better than well said", and "look out for that freaking lightning bo...".

I have already passed on (and repeated ad nauseam) a few my friends have taught me. It is hard to believe that the same guy who gave me "treat every new person that you meet like they may become your new best friend" also taught me "there is 'classy' and there is 'assy'... and that ain't classy". Although a bit more crass, it is no less true... or extremely useful. I find it comes in quite handy whether you are talking about behavior at a dinner party or the (over)reaction by a team scoring 13 goals against a far lesser opponent.

I have also shared some my grandma (who apparently was a closet Confucian) taught me like, "when you point a finger at someone, there are three more pointing back at you. This one applied quite nicely to the holier-than-thou sports fanatics who criticized the Toronto Raptors' fans who temporarily lost their minds and cheered for an injury.

I would expect far more rational behavior from a person like this.

This weekend, while standing up to my cousin's wedding, one of the fellow groomsman provided a maxim so perfect that I had to immediately text it to my 14 year old son. Perhaps it is very old, but it was new to me and my son. Before I get to the saying, if you ever want to feel like a hero, simply carry a few pizzas into a room filled with a dozen guys. That is exactly what a guy named John did for all of us. While we were heaping praise and platitudes of gratitude on John, he hit us with this little nugget that he said his mom had taught him...

"Whenever you show up to someone's house, make sure you need to ring the doorbell with your elbows."

Brilliant!

I could not wait to tell my son. I figured I'd be clever and just text him the actual quote. I'd let him struggle with it for a few minutes and then ask him what he thought it meant. Just when he was on the verge of throwing his phone due to the frustration caused by not being able to crack this code, I would triumphantly provide him with the answer.

Perfect.

I sent the text.

Five seconds later, Timmy responded with...