As I have said many times before, I am a child of the 70s. This makes me a teen of the 80s. And one of my favorite things from the 1980s was riding my bike to the local video store (this is before blockbuster and Family Video existed) to rent some R rated action movie starring Chuck Norris or Sho Kasugi and rushing home to watch it on my Sony Betamax. Notice I didn't Mention Sylvester Stallone or Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is because those guys made action movies with huge budgets. Although I loved all of those movies as well, I was a true connoisseur of B Action Movies like Band of the Hand, Enter the Ninja, The Warriors, The Last Dragon, escape From New York and of course Gymkata. So when I saw that there was a new action movie based in 1987 I was intrigued. When I saw the graphics on the poster, I was obsessed! So last night I watched Freaky Stories in all of its 1980s glory.
I had high hopes that Freaky Stories would remind me of being a 14 year old watching action movies with my buddies in my basement. Well freaky tales blew right those expectations at precisely 88 MPH. I truly felt like I was transported in a magical DeLorean back to that basement. I have seen lots of movies attempt to capture the feel of an 80s B action movie. Stranger things comes close but their production value is just too high. Nothing has ever nailed it the way Freaky Stories has.
And what's totally radical is that this was not just simply one action movie, it was FOUR action movies jammed into one and tied together by a very clever thread. The first chapter "Strength in Numbers" not only perfectly captures the 80s vibe, but it is also shot in 4:3 instead of letterbox so it really felt like watching on Beta. Not only that, they even added some tracking static that used to appear if you played a tape too much and it got warn out (if you owned a copy of Fast Times at Ridgemont High on Beta I guarantee you this warn out static appears during Phoebe Cates swimming pool scene). Without giving away any spoilers (well maybe 1 tiny one) this story revolves around a group of teenage punk rockers defending their dance club from Nazi Skinheads. I actually jumped off the couch for this fight scene as a Nazi got lit on fire... during a street fight. Oh and as an added bonus. This chapter is loosely based on a really standoff between Punks and Nazi Skinheads back in the 1980s.
The second chapter "Don't Fight the Feeling" tells the story of a female rap duo, Danger Zone, who face off against real rapper Too-Short in an epic rap battle. And just like the first chapter, this rap battle really happened and Too Short narrates and even makes a cameo in the movie. You'll have to believe me that there is more to the story than that and this chapter is a lot of fun. Plus you get to see Riri from Ironheart ( Dominque Thorne) rap.
This is how the movie was meant to be watched. Wish I could.
The third chapter, "Born to Mack" stars Pedro Pascal in a good old fashioned, "Muscle doing one last job" story. I honestly can't say too much more about that one aside from the fact that it was a little lighter on the action and heavier on awesome dialogue and character development.
And then there is the fourth chapter "The Legend of Sleepy Floyd". Holy shit! I have never scene anything quite like that. Sleepy Floyd is a real basketball player who played for the Golden State Warriors and holds the record for most points in a quarter of a playoff game with 29 in the 4th quarter of a game in 1987. Yes the same 1987 that the movie is set in. Now that part is true. Whether or not Sleepy Floyd was also a ninja with an arsenal of swords, throwing stars, and knives but who could also kill a man with his bare hands is debatable. But the action scenes in this chapter are simply insane. It could stand up to any of the 1980s classics.
If you like 1980s action movies, you must see Freaky Tales.
What's your favorite 80s action movie?
