It is difficult to speak now. My voice that could be expressed here was drowned out by others. I, she, fight to be heard. I know the only way out, both mentally and physically, is through. I have to write through the noise and I have to talk about other conversations. Mentally, it's a huge effort.
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I am afraid to offend someone because I am incredibly polite. Wait until one dog has finished drinking before walking past them so as not to disturb them. I'm still ashamed to share everything I do, even the simplest things, so as not to disturb my partner.I will, I should, but not yet.
So I couldn't stop others from sharing their feelings. Well, despite everything I'm pushing here. It's been almost a week since I was trapped in the Amber of Concern. So many things bother me, none of which are really new, and I haven't done anything to address them.
Everything seems urgent. It's like when I was working as a company employee. I was pressured at times by being asked to focus only on my highest priority tasks. I would sit down with my supervisor and project manager and go through each item in turn. Then make a list and see which ones take precedence. Yes, they all took precedence.
One thing I learned is the importance of weeding, maintenance and getting things done. Learning and practicing are two very different things. Weeding involves walking around things and removing debris. There are a lot of things that I pay for every month that I don't use. A few years ago I was working on a personal project that I hoped to commercialize. Requires a mobile data SIM that is purchased, installed, set up, and then not canceled. For virtual evacuation it was £4 a month. You have at least two Amazon Prime add-ons that need to be canceled. There are others, but I wouldn't look for a better price for what I use or need.
Kea is closely related to wild grazing. Maintenance is done daily, weekly, monthly, etc. My company account is a prime example of this. But due to a certain overlap of events and my tendency to avoid things, they became an imperfect quagmire that haunts me now. It was difficult to find time to do bookkeeping on Saturday or Sunday.
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At the time, my wife had booked a weekend in advance to visit her father who lived far away. When he could no longer manage it on his own and provide the support she needed, he moved to us. We took her on weekends, walked around the town stores and the lake we go to, and took the dog.
It's hard to remember those days. I have trouble remembering what happened and in what order. It was such a depressing time that I never wanted to watch this channel again, so it's even harder to remember what happened before.
