Ki Balls

guiltyparties(73)

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A step-by-step tutorial

Hold hands in front of you about 4" apart, parallel to each other. Cup them as you would for a snowball. You should be easily able to fit a head of a small baby or a large cat between your fingers. You're not holding her head to your dick here so keep your hands at the same level as your liver, although centered. If you don't know where your liver is drink your stash of Jack Daniels until you feel it. Pretend you're holding the fragile shell of the ball. The shell is very thin and is much like the wall of a soap bubble.
Now to fill that ball you'll need to route your energy, in small dozes, into the shell. The energy will form a sphere in the center of the imaginary shell and expand to its limits. Don't push it or the fucker will burst on you and you'll have to wait for your ki to replenish itself before trying again. Replenishing ki may require anywhere from two to seventeen days and vigorous exercise followed by rest.
Slightly bring your hands together, about an inch or so. Your fingers should be tense by now. You will feel the heat of the ki ball's shell pressing against your constraining hands. Keep your hands steady regardless of what happens. If Spiderman II has taught us anything its that balls of unsteady energy are not to be toyed with.
Slowly bring your hands apart, thus letting the ball grow. You shouldn't be able to shrink it from that point on. If you are, then the energy current is too weak. Meaning you fucked up and should try again later. While holding the ball all your energy should be focused on its core. You will lose control of your bowels and shit may or may not shoot out of your anus unrestricted. Feel free to take the appropriate precautions.
If all is going well you should start to feel a significant power drain in every part of your body save for your hands. Don't worry, its natural. Your natural vigor, or in some cases, usually based on your age and lack of social skills, the lack of it, will shortly return.
Once you can't hold your ball any longer, flex your palms outwards, thus releasing the ki. Watch it go. Try to aim it well as it may or may not, depending on your mood, leave a significant path of destruction. Hurricane Ivan? Nothing more than a wayward ki ball.

Disclaimer:

Guilty Parties is not responsible for any loss of life or property damage sustained by the released ki balls or by personal straining efforts. Petechial hemorrhaging* is a common side-effect of ki ball production. Please consult your family physician or at least the internet immediately after the fact.

*Petechial hemorrhages are hemorrhages that occur in minute points beneath the skin, appearing at pinpoint, purplish red spots. Should death occur during this exercise the coroner will easily identify the cause through the small red pin-sized dots in the eyes. These bloody dots are tell-tale signs of strain.

The original source

For 15 years and through numerous site relaunches the ki balls tutorial persisted, largely unaltered except for a few updated references (as you can see, during it's last update, Spiderman II and Hurricane Ivan were a thing). It traveled with us from server to server. The title image is a stock image borrowed from some random news site and altered.

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