The holiday season ignites a big internal conflict for me.
On one hand, my principles stop me from wanting to participate in many of the traditional activities around here. I abhor wrapping paper, needless plastic waste, the notion that we should all take a financial hit to buy the ones we love gifts that likely they do not need, or even want...
Christmas is 110% not my sort of thing, but in this neck of the woods, it's a big deal. As a mom of two little ones, it would be nearly criminal to rob them of the holiday excitement that surrounds us though. So, I do my best to find a middle ground.
My simple but powerful minimalist hack for dealing with the holidays is refusing to compare myself to others. Firmly staying true to my own ways. Fly swatting away that wild mom guilt that creeps in if I don't meet some benchmark that other mom's did.
I started a trend in our family last year, I gave gifts in reusable fabric materials. This year, everyone wanted to follow suit. What a win! I also decided last year that I would purchase my children's gifts nearly exclusively from the thrift store.
Second hand means less packaging, money saved, and a total avoidance of marketing.
I had to write for this week's prompt, because the holidays may be my best example of how I keep it simple in my daily life.
By not comparing myself to others, I become free of all of these crazy expectations from decor to gift giving. I can settle into what feels right to me. That is focusing on family, not finances allocated. Not time spent hanging things, or meticulously folding paper.
As you can see from my photo above, I didn't even hang ornaments on my tree this year. In fact, I did the absolute least in every regard for decorating. Why set a bunch of things up that my two-year-old cannot touch, and then spend the next weeks enforcing that? No thanks.
I spent only an hour decorating my house. I didn't worry about it looking picture perfect. I focused on the fact that this is living space, not Instagram. This decision turned the process into fun.
Today I went to the secondhand shop to start gathering gifts for the kids. I also picked up some cute cappuccino mugs (which I really needed), bins to facilitate toy rotation (a minimalist stable I must swear by), and some baskets to plan out gift wrapping for oddly shaped objects.
I wanted to share some of the things I selected to highlight the value in doing things this way for me.
Books. I know this is a big hot topic for minimalists, but I say that books are never clutter. No hate to you e-book Mins, but I need to hold my adventures. If I were to state the perfect minimalist gift from my perspective, it is either something the person will use right away (like a good tea or a fancy snack), or a book that is fitting for the recipient.
My kids must have inherited that feeling from me, because they both love books. Therefore, they each got a stack for Christmas this year. Do you spy the title "The Day My Butt Went Psycho"? You're not seeing things. I know this will help my child advance.
Oh, how parenting just stays strange! There is nothing my daughter thinks is funnier than fart jokes, probably in part due to my instance that she stops telling me them.
Well, I'm using that to my advantage to kickstart her reading! I found her some classics, and selected a few "big girl books" without illustrations to help ease her into more serious reading. Well, as serious as an all text book on butt problems can be considered.
My son loves looking at books, but he isn't very good at it yet (destruction). So, he got a handful of textured board books that he can enjoy solo or with a parent. He's also just mad over trains right now, so I grabbed a few choo choo tales for bedtime.
Maybe the coolest thing about all these books is that they were each under 2$, and came buy 4 get 1 free. I forced myself not to look at novels.
Barbies. Little girls who don't want barbies are few and far between, and my kiddo is no different. I cringe at the thought of buying one new though. Between the packaging, the lack of unique traits, and the cost... barbies were something I resisted for a long time.
Well, at the thrift store you find all kinds of cool barbies. I thought it was way great that one of these had a prosthetic leg. I will hunt again for the random bag of outfits that I know is sitting in another store for 5$, and Thea will be set! These four cost me as much as one new barbie.
I also got a slew of hotwheels cars for my son. He's obsessed with everything transportation at this point, and I know his grandmother got him a car track. I'll shamelessly stash away half of the cars Christmas night once he is asleep, so I always know where some are.
Ever watched how fast a kid can lose tiny cars all over a house? If you know you know.
The last thing that helps me keep things simple while thrifting is looking for cards.
But Grindan, you said you hated the paper waste?
Yes, yes, 1000x yes. I sure do. The thing is, the older generations really seem to care about cards. When it means the world to my random aunt or family friend that I've sent a card, I can't justify my reluctance. I keep card giving minimal, but I definitely do it.
It used to be that if you got a gift, the first thing you did was read the card. I think us millennials did away with that practice pretty solidly, but I've grandfathered the act in for the people in my life it matters to. Pun intended, I guess.
And if I must give cards, they will be unique. Thrift store strikes again there, you'll find some of the most beautiful and also some of the most bizarre cards in a random baggie there. It's like a mystery box, you don't know what you got until you get home and open it.
Usually I get at least one weirdo card, but today they were all just cute. So instead, I'll point out how nice it is that these older cards all came with matching envelopes. It looks way classier, and cost MUCH less. Standard card= 1-5$. I bought a mystery bag today that broke down to .08 a card.
As money focused as this post may seem, minimalism isn't exclusively about saving dough for me by a long shot. It's about removing the expectations of item ownership that encumber most of us. So many people are wilting under the weight of trying to mimic the lifestyle of those around them, while a shroud of debt and uncertainty hides behind those same people's social media posts...
By focusing on what feels organic to me in my world, yes, I save money, and I celebrate it. It eases times that can be stressful, like the holidays... These dollars are small markers that represent my ability to have experiences vs. items to me. Freedom.
What I hope this post highlights though, is that a minimalist lifestyle can free you to enjoy simple things. My kids don't see that my house isn't decked out, that I haven't spent 6 hours fussing over a perfect tree— what they see are lights that are new and exciting.
It doesn't matter that my house won't be covered in paper come December 25th, and that the "wrapping" will be folded up after. Or that the toys my kids get were loved by another kid before them. What stays central is the spirit of the season, and I couldn't be any more grateful for that.
Minimalism is a hack in itself for the holidays in my opinion, because simplicity supports the sublime. I hope everyone celebrating in December is enjoying the season! 💚
