While growing up, I did not always believe in loving people no matter what. To be honest, I usually do tit for tat; if you do me, I do my own back even though I was not raised like that. In fact, if you do me bad and I am closer to you, I will withdraw my care little by little from you. If you act as if you did not see consciously or unconsciously, I will ignore you like a plague. To me, I was a sign of keeping myself safe.
But my new motto, “love anyway,” is something I learned from my mother after a lot of observations. There is a neighbor and a church member that really gave my sister a problem when she wanted to get married, all because she is one of the marriage committees in the church, to the extent that my sister had to change all the dresses and shoes she already bought for her wedding. To cut it short, my mom ignored all that, and during the introduction and the main wedding, she sent enough food to her house, and even when she traveled, my mom always cooked and sent food to her house for her children and husband to eat. Even though I was kind of furious at her action, when I asked her the reason she did those things, she told me that if she only continued to love the good people, her heart would become small and that she believes in loving thy neighbors as thyself.
What she told me at that moment sticks with me, and I do not think I can forget.
From what I have learned from her, if I love someone anyway, it does not mean I want to stay in a toxic place with them or accommodate the abuse they bring. This I have learned very well. It simply means I will not allow bitterness to take the best of me; talk less of controlling me. In my country, where I get to meet different people every day, it is very easy to pass aggression on to anyone; it is something I have done before when I was frustrated. I have done something out of being stressed out, which is later regretted.
Ever since I changed how I view things and started living by that motto, I have learned how to be more patient. I always take my time to think things through before I react. I have learned to forgive easily, even though I will make sure I maintain healthy boundaries. And to be honest, this has been giving me nothing but peace of mind. But I will not lie; it hasn't been easy because I am human, and the flesh might want to take over sometimes, but I control it because it feels unfair to always love anyway.
Sometimes, it always feels like someone is taking advantage of me, but I always tell myself that I want to be a good example of loving too much rather than taking revenge. If we look around us, everywhere is filled with bitter people, and it will not hurt if I show love anyway. And that is the life and motto I will continue to live with.
Thank you for reading.
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