It's past 10 pm and here I am after a stressful day still trying to meet up with my supposed task of the day, get this dress completed, write on the current hive learners topic, and also put the finishing touch/edit on the next fashion blog I recently started. At one corner of my mind, I know I'm supposed to find somewhere warm-my bed and try to have a good night's rest, but the zeal to perfect all I had planned for the day pushes me to go grab a cup of coffee, and here I am sitting, pouring my current mood into this post, feeling more energized thanks to Nescafe and even more at peace than I would have been if I tried to force myself to sleep, this must definitely be a weakness Glory, I thought to myself, some people call it working extra hard, while others term it a perfectionist, but dear me, it is my weakness.
It didn't start today, it has been a habit for years, I remember staying up all night to get some math equations I had just been taught in school solved, or other times when trying to master the art of pattern drafting, all I can think of is perfecting my skill, lots of practice, both day and night, it's like a drive for excellence, because I don't like the feeling of being defeated, but it always ends up costing me a price, from good night sleep to being introverted, I like my personal space because it helps increase my creative thinking, I'm alone with my thoughts and its like a there's a conference meeting ongoing in my head, trying to bring different solutions to the perceived problem and the good thing I always get the problem solved and that's when I can actually get that peace some people gets easily, going to bed with a clear mind and having a peaceful sleep.
My drive for perfection has both sides to it, it helps add value to me in terms of my personal growth, knowledge and also growing my business and income, pushing me to achieve great things, skills which I'm proud of, but it is also a challenge, fighting stress daily just to meet up with one more task, or perfect one more detail often have a significant impact in my sleep pattern/sleep deprivation, which isn't good for one's health,. I have learned from reading many articles about the necessity of having regular sleep and how the lack of a good night’s sleep can influence our abilities and well-being, our mood, our health condition, and so on. Nevertheless, the desire to get things done perfectly often overpowers the rational desire to rest.
All in all, it isn’t completely bleak. This drive has also proved to have positive impacts and one has been able to see some positive results or achievement. From what I have discovered, I pay a lot of attention when it comes to doing any work as I always ensure I do it to the best of my abilities which means working for long hours, but I have accomplished work that I consider to be of high quality. My designs are proof of that, and my decision to blog daily is second to that: When a work is the best I can give, it is everything to me.
This is one trait that I understand has its advantages and drawbacks and so I have been keen to look for a balance. I am learning when I need to draw a line in the sand for myself in terms of number of hours in a week as well as in terms of what I expect of myself. For example, I love the night's peace and quiet, there for I have to make sure I purposely take a nap in the afternoon it may not be for long, but it definitely has to be taken.
I am also trying to get myself to define perfection and often when tomorrow is a working day and things must be done, sometimes I force myself, and the rest that comes is also good, thus making me not to regret so much what I have let go as I catch up with the rest. What is even funny, I noticed that some of the ideas and solutions which occur to me are better seen after waking up the morning after. This realization has made me appreciate the rest time not only as the mandatory break for the health sake but also for the creativity’s sake.
Seated here, typing away the last of this post, I realize more than ever that one has truly come a long way. Yes, it is rather late, and yet, here I am typing away at the keyboard. But I’m more conscious now on what my weakness and the need for more rest. The next day I will ensure that I have some quiet time and I get to work in the evening after I have relaxed. Because I have come to realize that getting a rest is not a privilege, but it is an essential ingredient in get to be an optimum me, in terms of creativity and work output.
All images used in this post are mine
