"I'm so hard to handle, I'm selfish and I'm sad,
Now I've gone lost the best baby I've ever had." Joni Mitchell. River.
So hard to see how much your pain affects those nearest and dearest to you. So hard to have the capacity to hold another when you're suffering. Whereas I feel a little health dip perhaps on the cards, recently, physically it's not been too bad and mentally, been on the up... But caught up in all my fury these last few years, I've been so busy fighting for union and recognition of my own right as a person, I forgot how blessed I already am. Time to be the giver perhaps, not just the taker. Then maybe I stop being such a melancholy bullshiter! Amama haha <3
I forgot him.
Silly me.
The one waiting in the wings,
Holding them
Much more carefully
Than I had ever bothered
To turn around
And look and see.
Selfish me.
He's not a Raven,
Not quite.
He doesn't blaze in
Furious passion
Ignite my titanic wings
In the kind of way
That sends me soaring
To heady lofts
That blaze with upsy glory...
Then downsy bluesy...
And now I hear his
Own wings have broken,
And what is more,
As I press
Ear to his familiar chest,
I hear it there:
His own heart
Beating,
And I remember now,
Just how much
I've always loved him.