I am everything thick, full, and big. I have thick hair, full hips, and big lips.
But with everything big, bold and beautiful about me, there's only one thing that it is not, and they are...
my eyebrows.
Though I am blessed to be everything like my dad, I have his charisma, his intelligence, and unfortunately, his eyebrows as well: not available.
Look at him and his “eyebrows” enjoying their Gearbox Soup.
Even my late grandmother was missing her eyebrows too. God bless her soul.
Genetics
Then the show Pretty Little Liars came out, and I noticed that the girls in the show look beautiful with their amazingly thick eyebrows, and I realize: I am ugly because I ain’t got no brows!
Just look at Aria and her perfect eyebrows! Source from: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/pretty-little-liars-tv-show/answers/show/245018/whos-prettiest-out-spencer-aria-emily-hannah
Thick eyebrows suddenly became a beauty trend and I didn’t want to get left behind with the hot trend.
So I bought myself an eyebrow pencil and started practicing using it.
I was obsessed!
Look at my brow game, they are thick and on fleek! I look amazing and beautiful! I love it!
And then slowly, without realizing it, I became more and more obsessed. My eyebrow regime started to slowly consume me!
Clarity only started to kick in when I was driving late for work. And as I was driving, I can’t help but to feel like I left something at home, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I was looking at the rear-view mirror then only did it hit me:
I FORGOT TO PUT ON MY EYEBROWS!!!!
Heart beating fast, I was trying to quickly make a decision: Either I arrive late for work with no eyebrows and look ugly, or arrive late and look beautiful with my amazing eyebrows.
Decision made, I turned back home just to put on my eyebrows. Either way, I was still going to be late. It was official, the lack of my eyebrows has become my insecurity. And I let it become my insecurity.
For years, everywhere I go, I must always put on my eyebrows. Because without it, I look ugly.
Going out to eat? Eyebrows on fleek.
Going jogging? Yes, eyebrows on.
Just staying at home? duh, the eyebrows must be present no matter where.
After 5 years of compulsory eyebrows, I was challenged by my friend, Kamilia, to appear in public without my eyebrows. #ChallengeAccepted!
25th of May 2015, that was the day the world is going to see me without my eyebrows! Kamilia praised me for bravery, and I felt good and nervous at the same time. And just as I was about to open the door out from my room, I saw my reflection in the mirror next to the door.
NO! I can’t do this! I look ugly without my eyebrows! #ChallengeFailed.
On that day onwards, I told myself: NEVER AGAIN! Never again will I attempt to go out to the world without my eyebrows!
A year went by, and I met my #SoulMate. Things were getting serious, and Kamilia asked me: Has he ever seen you without your eyebrows on?
I #Gasp! And whispered: never~
Kamilia: You know you should, then only you will know if he truly loves you for who you really are. With or without your eyebrows.
And she made sense, if I am going to commit to this relationship, I need to show him my true self!
So, one fine evening, on our date night out. I womaned up and did not, I repeat, I DID NOT put on my eyebrows for our dinner date.
I was so nervous. It felt like I was going on to our first date.
He came to pick me up at my place.
I got into his car.
And I kept my face facing forward.
Took a deep breath, and sloooowly turned to look at him.
he looked at me, and he said: Hi.
Hi?
JUST HI?!
Don’t he realize I’m a completely different person?
Don’t he realize something is missing on my face?!
Don’t he realize I don’t have any eyebrows on?!
And all he said was HAI???
then he said: oh ya... but you still look the same....
I look the same?
First night out without my eyebrows on
Once again, clarity hit me: I look the same even without me putting on my eyebrows.
I decided to try going to work without putting them on. And guess what?
NOBODY EVEN SAID A WORD ABOUT IT NOR DID THEY REALIZE I WAS MISSING MY EYEBROWS!
NOBODY CARES! Because I still look the same!!
And you know what did this made me realize?
It made me realize that I was the one who determined that my lack of eyebrows was my insecurity.
I was the one who made myself feel that I was ugly without my eyebrows on.
I decide my own insecurity.
We decide our own insecurities.
And we have full control and power to decide whether we want or not to have any insecurities.
7 years ago, I let my lack of eyebrows became my insecurity, I felt ugly everywhere I go without my eyebrows. And today, I still occasionally put on my eyebrows, but that does not mean I am insecure about it, I just decided that it doesn’t matter anymore, because with or without it, I will still look the same and beautiful self.
Don't let anybody ever make you feel insecure about how you look, especially from yourself.
with much love,
