"Hey Kat, you have to come look at this!"
The issuer of this request is a creature who I shall lovingly refer to as I. I is the husband of my dear friend's daughter, a 22 year old plumber in training (this fact will be relevant shortly). I is a creature who grew up rather roughly and possesses the most impish sense of human this side of an Office Christmas party. I adore the kid!
I's dark brown eyes were curved into a mirthful plead, so in the spirit of Christmas pranks, I of course followed him down the hall to feast my eyes on whatever glorious thing he wished to show me.
I did not disappoint.
"Look at this Kat, it is J's present!" he announced holding an item aloft.
J is I's fourteen year old brother-in-law. I have known J since he was in diapers, and he is a sweet-hearted braggart of classic pubescent boy style. The kid is loud, full of himself, and will do anything for you, because he's awesome.
That said, I don't live with him, and I could tell by the retaliatory Grinch-like smile on I's mug, that he had put many minutes of familial love and angst into the item in front of me, a chunk of 4 inch pvc pipe with fittings on each end.
The chunk of pipe had the words Merry Christmas and Good Luck scrawled in black sharpie across its off-white poly surface, my face broke into a smile of genuine impishness as I blurted,
"Is that the subtle aroma of plumber's cement that I detect."
"Oh yes fair lady, you detect correctly." I replied. We talk to each other like idiots, it is our way. He had capped and glued both ends of the pipe shut.
"And this priceless artifact is still not finished being wrapped yet!" I gushed with all the enthusiasm of a cocker spaniel with a frozen cow turd.
"I'll leave you to it good sir!" I replied with a burst of future teen discomfort to be witnessed glee.
Later, after being stuffed to the gills with a fabulous ham dinner, a few hands of rummy, and helping an almost one year old twin baby open a box with a hand knitted sweater in it, I got to witness the greatness of The Pipesaurus Wrecks.
I had with surgical precision, carefully layered the chunk of pipe with multiple layers of grocery bags, each bag sealed with an encasement of packing tape. J in his usual cocky form, grabbed the prettily wrapped box and began to open it, throwing out over confident yodeling like most of his kind.
After the box was opened, he took out a plastic wrapped lump and flicked open his pocket knife.
"I got this!" he announced confidently.
About five minutes and many layers of plastic and tape later he finally got to the pipe.
Laying next to me was an apparatus that was necessary for the operation to be completed. I spied the pipe cutter when we came in to my friend's house. As I is training to be a plumber, the apparatus's presence was not too odd, but I did wonder if my friend had decided to try and slice the hams in a new and creative way.
J's face took on a slight cloud of consternation as he beheld the pipe and its taunting inscriptions. A smile lit my face as I presented him with the pipe cutter, and then in the tradition of all elders everywhere, mockery began as J tried to utilize a pipe cutter for the first time in his life in front of a bunch of experienced adults. Isn't Christmas grand?
Honestly, he took to the pipe wrench like a emo kid to hair dye, the application was going smoothly.
As the scent of plumber's cement began wafting through the air, the piece of pvc gave way and J triumphantly shouted, I got it!
This was seven minutes into the unwrapping.
The smile of prank present unwrapping suddenly evaporated as yet another wrapped lump appeared from inside the chunk of pipe. I glanced at I, my eyebrow arched in admirable awe,
That's right." he said, his head slowly nodding up and down.
I proceeded to give him the honor of a slow golf clap.
"J" was in it to win it now, he yelled and stabbed his knife at the layers of wrapping paper and packing tape, the minutes ticked on and on, layer upon layer, finally the lump split into two pieces and still there was more unwrapping, until...
A Roku remote and device was revealed.
"A Roku?" J blurted, perplexed.
"Yep, for the den tv, so you can quit whining about us hogging the only one."
I honestly don't remember what J said in reply because I was laughing. A lot. The Pipesaurus Rex was beyond fantastic to witness and I feel blessed to have been a part of that historic event.
As it was dumping the snow and Christmas Eve, we didn't stay at our friend's too late in the evening. We have had over two feet of snow drop in the last 48 hours, a Christmas gift in itself, It was snowing so hard as we left that I realized I was to enjoy another rare happening. When it snows so hard that you almost can't see when driving you get to enjoy the Millennium Falcon Effect. Usually, when it is snowing it is easier to see and drive with your low beams on, but during a heavy fall it is fun to click on the high beams and pretend you are flying through hyperspace.
So not only did I get to witness The Pipesaurus Wrecks, the kids and I also got to pretend that we were flying through a galaxy far, far away on the way back to our humble abode.
I hope all your Christmases were as magical as mine!😊
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's truly grateful to have never been entombed in a pvc sarcophagus iPhone.