If you live in North American, chances are you might know that there is going to be a total solar eclipse on Monday, August 21st, 2017. As I live just north of the eclipse's path of totality, the show will be a pretty good one. That said, the human show leading up to the eclipse has been interesting as well.
Most of my regular followers know that I work at the library, one item not found on my job description is the dispersal of solar eclipse glasses. I, however, was super excited to find a bundle of a few hundred of the glasses in the courier a week ago, for I love to give things away. There was even an "Oh Drat!" moment as I had ordered our eclipse glasses months ago for reasons that I shall discuss forthwith.
Here is a sample dialogue of how I spent my entire day yesterday and each previous workday this week:
"Library Network @ SL, this is 
"Hi, Do you have any of those solar eclipse glasses left?"
"I am so sorry, we are completely out of them."
"Oh."
Now, I would be more understanding of the procrastination of the acquirement of eclipse viewing glasses if there was no advance notice of the event. However, people have been talking about the upcoming total solar eclipse for YEARS. My local stores tend to run out of inventory they place on sale before the first day of the sale is even over, it would only make sense that something like eclipse viewing glasses might be hard to come by if you waited until right before the event to procure them.
It is known to those acquainted with me that I am a bit on the mischevious side. However, I am also the sort that dives in to help out in a crisis, and after taking one look at my manager's face, I offered to answer the phone for the rest of the day. As we were getting a call asking about eclipse glasses every few minutes, my boss was eternally grateful for my intercessory offer. I was eternally grateful to shatter procrastinator's eclipse viewing dreams in the most customer serviceriffic way possible.
Most people would ask if I knew where any other glasses could be had. Our library district gave away six thousand and I heard that Amazon was back-ordered something like 4 months on eclipse glasses, so ever the helpful librarian, I tried to let the seekers of the retina preserving cardboard cutouts down as gently as possible. In the beginning.
This eclipse glasses routine has played out every day this week, and I was okay relaying the bad news. That is, until one person thought that they would argue with me about our lack of glasses. My mirth, although it remained throughout the dialogue, mutated and my true self shined through:
"I am so very sorry, we no longer have any eclipse glasses."
"Well, someone told me that you did! Why don't you just check again."
"Well, I am currently looking at a huge pile of no glasses, so good luck in your search."
I am delighted to report that there was a drawn out pause of what I can safely assume was processing confusion before a mumbled farewell and subsequent hangup.
We've also had some pretty strange animal encounters in our parts this year, including two uncharacteristic black bear attacks this summer. I have been telling my co-workers for the last few months, half jokingly of course, that the animals are acting all weird due to the impending eclipse. The other day I saw an article that said scientists were claiming the exact same thing! Perhaps human beings are being a little strange too?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I am totally going to enjoy viewing the eclipse. I love astronomy and gazing at the heavens, took courses on the subject in school, and even gave a course on elementary astronomy to my children two years ago. However, I kind of feel like the eclipse event has evolved into one of those trend things that people tend to go bananas about, Beanie Babies, Y2K, The Ice Bucket Challenge, the list goes on. They are talking about a run on fuel and supplies in the small towns that line the eclipse's path! The human spectacle might be almost as enjoyable as the celestial show!
Our entire clan is getting ready to move to our county fairgrounds for the state fair this week, and as I wandered around our small burgs yesterday picking up fair prep detritus, I found myself in a local pharmacy that doubles as a custom clothing screen printing store. While my daughter and I were choosing t-shirts to have our 4H club's logo emblazoned on, I heard one of the store's employees utter these words:
"I am so sorry, we don't have an solar eclipse glasses..."
Monday can't come soon enough! Although, I am going to miss blaming everything from bad patron behavior and equipment malfunctions to my own personal mistakes on the eclipse. No worries, I'm sure I will find a suitable blame replacement in no time!
And as always, unless otherwise cited, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's sunset-colored case enclosed iPhone.
