Fear not death for the hour of your doom is set and none may escape it - Völsunga saga
Death - Many don't like to talk about it; as if to do so may conjure it into being which is not the case at all; superstition is strong in some though.
You're going to die and so am I as will every single person we know, or will ever know. Death is inevitable. It will come for you and I eventually, hopefully a long time from now, but it's a foregone conclusion and when it does I know I'll be prepared for it - I can't speak for you but being prepared is better than being ill-prepared.
Preparing for death is something many neglect; I don't mean emotionally though. I'm talking about the financial and legal preparations plus the logistical ones; the funeral and all. I'm not one who feels it's something that should be neglected and so I'm prepared because it can come when we least expect it and then...It's too late.
I have a legal, professionally-prepared, will which outlines the disposal of my estate to those I have nominated to receive it.
I have legal documents giving trusted people power of attorney over me in the advent of my incapacitation, my inability to act for myself; it gives them the right to access my finances and act for me in all matters, legal and otherwise. I also have an advanced care directive giving those same people the right to make medical decisions on my behalf should I be incapable of it. This includes switching off life-support systems. The instructions are clear and immutable.
For my crypto stuff there's a trusted person who holds my crypto keys in the advent of my incapacitation or demise and lastly my funeral is pre-paid. It's a basic affair: No public and no notices. I'll be packed into a crate and pushed into into a fire. Nothing extravagant at all. Sound callous? I'll be dead, I won't care.
Am I prepared for death? Yeah, I'd say so. Am I comfortable with it? Also yes. I've seen enough death to know what it looks like and I've made peace with its inevitability. I'm pragmatic after all.
But that doesn't mean I dwell on death; indeed, it's the complete opposite. Life is far too important, far too valuable to waste it overlong on thoughts of death - Plan for it, then live life right now as one never knows when it may be snatched away.
Yesterday I learned someone I knew well took his own life. I've known this person for over twenty five years and whilst I hadn't seen him for over three years we spoke regularly and were close friends. His end was violent and by his own hand and whilst that makes me very angry and I see it as rather senseless it was his life and his choice. I feel for those he left behind; Wife, a child and his parents, friends.
I'm still processing the situation and am surprisingly detached however and whilst I don't feel like opening up about it here I decided to mention it as a way of ordering my thoughts as I write. I'm so angry at my friend and at the situation that brought this to pass. However I feel content and happy that my mate will not suffer any longer. He's probably sitting somewhere now with a beer and ever-present tobacco pipe, stroking his Viking-style beard telling anyone within earshot lies about his prowess. Asshole.
At times like this, times I've had to endure on many occasions, I always feel angry at the person and have been told it's a typical reaction. I spoke to a mate this morning, a retired funeral director, who reiterated that sentiment. He also said I'll go through other emotions, that it'll swing one way and the other. I know it already but it was good to be reminded. It was good to have someone who understands.
We spoke for a while about my buddy, a chap he doesn't know, and death in general but eventually the pendulum swung back to life and its importance to each and everyone of us who have it within our grasp. He offered to come see me but I declined although I wish now I'd accepted as he's a wise man and...Well, I declined for now so it's moot.
I selected the Viking quote today in honour of my fallen comrade; a man who was as large as life itself, an honest, hard-working and genuine fellow who, whilst a little rough around the edges, had a heart of pure gold; a good mate. I have a saying that revolves around work ethic, perseverance and ownership that goes like so: Lift heavy shit. This mate was that guy; the one prepared to work harder, and when the work was done he looked for more. He had the leave no man behind attitude in everything he did. If someone was struggling he was there, if they needed help he rolled up his sleeves. He put others first...I guess not in this last instance though.
He had a zest for life at most times but there was a darkness in him that started within; it claimed him eventually. He told me once, just once, that he thought the darkness would take him someday and I know PTSD can paint a person into some very dark corners. He was right. Fuck, I'm so angry with that bastard. He didn't even say goodbye.
As the Viking quote above says, our deaths are set, clearly determined, and none of us will escape the reaper when he comes. But here's the thing...We're not dead yet.
Life is the most precious of commodities and whilst it can be difficult at times, really fucking difficult, we have it for better or worse. Over the years I've worked hard at finding the light in life, the good, positive and valuable things. But life is like a coin, there's two sides, and it's the negative, the dark and destructive elements that balance out the other. There has to be both and sometimes one wins out over the other.
Dwelling on one's mortality won't keep it intact; that's what I see in this quote. It says, get out there and value your life; the small moments, good or bad. Turn each to your advantage, embrace them, and create the life you wish now, in the moment. Today. Tell that person you value just how much they mean to you. Say please, thank you and excuse me. Be humble, kind and generous. Give no shit and take no shit...Lift heavy shit, and design life the way you want it. Right now.
Right now is just a space between ice ages. - Van Halen
Rest in peace my brother.
Skol.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
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