Self...and others

I enjoy and value self-reliance and actively seek it as it brings a degree of confidence that I'll be able to take care of things when I need to; but what things?

Should I be lost in the wilderness I'd be more likely to survive as I have built skills and understandings around what will be required in that situation rather than being clueless and hoping someone comes along to save me. That's just a basic example of course and there's many other aspects in which I work towards being self-reliant and it makes me feel more present in my own life, helpful to myself and others, and it gives me a sense of satisfaction...but that doesn't mean I turn help away - far from it.

Self-reliance isn't at all about acting completely autonomously, pushing away help and assistance, advice or suggestions, and has nothing to do with isolating oneself away from others at all; quite the opposite actually.

I was chatting to a good friend of mine who also happens to work with me - I mean in the same organisation and side by side with me - going over her upcoming annual leave scenario...which I'm none-too-pleased about. That's right, as much as I'm self-reliance-focused I'm not looking forward to her being gone for a while - the support she gives me in various ways allows me to be more effective at my job and I don't like to be without that help. It's her job to provide that support of course, but she goes over and beyond her job brief which I appreciate and have come to be quite reliant upon it, and her. Go figure huh?

Anyway, I voiced my thoughts on her upcoming leave and that I'd miss her being around and she said, "harden up buttercup." Yep, fair fucken point.

She was only joking of course and we went on to discuss what she's put in place to keep me rockin' along and I was pretty pleased; I think I'll cope...but will be glad when she's back.

Along the course of that discussion I made sure to say how grateful I am to have her around; it's something I do a lot - show gratitude - and she made a comment that sort of struck a chord with me.

I'll not write her exact words, but essentially she commented that she knows how self-reliant I am by nature, how difficult it is for me (sometimes) to lean on, or have to rely upon, others and that she knows and understands why I'm like that - She also said how much she enjoys working with me which was really nice to hear. It's a work-ethic thing really, I prefer action over passing the work to others and to counter-balance that throughout my professional career I've had to work hard at building the right team/people around me, passing on the skills and developing those they already possess and finally empowering them to step up and forward. That's what good leaders do and when they do it attitudes, results and rewards are easier to come by. Delegation has been a critical factor in my professional career and learning how to do it effectively has been one of the most valuable tools I have gained.

Naturally, I also promote self-reliance in my teams, autonomy to a certain degree, the ability to think for themselves within the plans and goals we've had, and I think that's an important part of an effective team; the ability to think autonomously and independently, but focused at the goal, as it means the team are more likely to bring me solutions rather than just problems or rely on my guidance all the time - it's inefficient. It's a fine balance I've found really.

A desire for, and focus on, self-reliance is an attribute I look for and build in my teams but that's never at the expense of teamwork, togetherness, unity, camaraderie, respect and communication. It's also an attribute I promote and foster within myself and which has paid dividends in the past and I know it will again. Self reliance is about knowledge, ownership, responsibility, effort, confidence, satisfaction, leading by example and many other things...only fools think it's about being alone.

Do you work towards self-reliance in any aspects of your own life or do you promote it with your children or at your workplace? How have you benefitted from building your own skills and being able to fend a little more for yourself? Comment if you'd like.