Saying something: Part ten

I had an idea to do a little series of posts about things I've learned and applied to my personal and professional life. I'll keep these posts quite short but hope someone reads something they can fit into their own life of they can use to good effect.

Negotiation - Mirroring and emotion labelling

Like it or not, we all negotiate in some way and consistently throughout our lives. Sure we do it differently, seek different results for various reasons, but essentially it's all the same thing to a lesser or greater degree. I've done a lot of negotiation in my life, personal and professional, and have been trained in it which has helped me master the skill be quite adept at it although I don't always do it exactly right.

The skill of negotiation isn't a mystery, just a set of skills a person (any person) can learn and apply and should a person take the time to understand the concepts it can really open up opportunities in life, personal or professional, deepen and strengthen relationships and generally bring greater value.

Mirroring:

This is one of the simplest things one can do but it's powerful. Basically, one repeats the last few words the other has said...like this:

Them: This deadline puts me under too much pressure.
You: Too much pressure?
Them: Yes, I have to___then___and___. My schedule is too full currently.
You: Too full currently?

The benefit is the other person feels that you're listening (they feel heard) and the questioning nature means they'll provide more information to go on with and use to advantage. It's important to repeat the words as a question with an upward lilt to the voice at the end.

Emotion labelling:

I love this one...essentially one names the other person's feelings which makes them feel understood, can lessen their stress level and builds trust - if they trust you they'll be more open to the negotiation, more pliable and way more likely to open up and share further information with you.

You: You seem annoyed with the process and outcome. There's frustration towards your team and you're concerned the timing applied too much pressure inhibiting your performance and the result.

I've got a few more to share down the track but wonder what your thoughts are on these ones.

Have you used them or do you recall these techniques being used on you? If so and you want to comment please go ahead in the comments below.