Flipping front to back in the dark

It wasn't a typical frown, a simple rearranging of my visage from its normal state to an alternate one. The replacement face I wore wasn't a momentary shift of muscles, flesh and skin. No, the frown came from a place far deeper than that and the frown, the look of consternation, was the result of something else entirely...But what? What made my face adjust itself into the physical manifestation of perturbation. I didn't know. _{original im src}

It had begun like any other working day: Alarm, wake up, get out of bed, morning get-ready-for-work routine, drive to work, morning coffee, morning chats, turn on computer, sit down and work. On this day however, something was out of place and it didn't feel right. I didn't feel right. I went about my day for a couple hours, every so often rearranging myself as if I'd woken up and my body had been reorganised as a joke and no one had let me in on it. I tried to concentrate but I couldn't. I kept shifting in my office chair looking for a position that felt right but nothing worked. Before long I decided it was time for a walk.

I'm lucky to have total autonomy at work so I often take a walk for 15-20 minutes twice a day which gets my circulation going and oxygenates my brain making me more productive. I set out knowing I'd feel better but...that damned frown again; it wouldn't budge. Something was very wrong, but I couldn't work out what it was.

As I walked, I felt discomfort in the middle of my body, you know, right down there. You know. Like...down there, in my area. My manly region. It wasn't pain per se, just an odd feeling of weirdness that permeated my entire being. I discounted it and continued to walk hoping I'd arrive back at my office feeling good as new....but I didn't; I arrived there feeling bad as old. WTF is wrong with me I wondered for the thousandth time.

It was late morning by this time and because I drink so much water needed a comfort break so off I went to the men's room; I took my frown of discomposure with me.

A few moments later there I was fumbling through the fly of my jeans to get the deed done but...something was wrong.

Something...didn't...feel...right. Fumble, fumble, fumble...Why the fuck was it so difficult to facilitate this simple task on this occasion! I've been doing this for almost 52 fucking years, I thought to myself What the actual fu...That's when it finally dawned on me. I hadn't, all of a sudden, lost the ability to perform one of the most basic of human actions...No, I'd simply put my boxer shorts on back to front that morning making the simple task quite complex...Not the end of the world I know, but it was the source of my discombobulation.

I'll admit, I felt a little stupid.

I managed to get the required job done and whilst doing so pondered my stupidity and how such a simple thing could have made me feel so out of sorts all morning. I guess things just weren't in the right position and that led me to feel jumbled down there, for lack of a better word, and all over in general. I finished up, washed my hands and walked out. As I did, I realised my look of consternation was gone. That's right, my face had normalised; sure, it's not good at the best of times, but at least I wasn't frowning. I felt better and the rest of my day rolled out rather well.

I'd gotten dressed in the dark that morning and in doing so had unwittingly put my boxers on back to front. Because I wear those athletic ones they are somewhat shaped and...well, the shape of them in reverse doesn't match the shape of me well at all. There's no bulge where there's supposed to be a bulge and that brings bulge-issues and deep emotional turmoil. Trust me, it's not pleasant. Strangely though, once I realised what I'd done and that it was the cause of my agitation it didn't seem as bad. And yeah, in case you're wondering, I did not change them around at work. I don't know, something just didn't feel right about getting naked at work.

I'm not sure if any of y'all have done the same thing, or would admit to it, but I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in having done something of this nature. It's not even the first time either. I can recall several times I've been told my shirt, sweater or zip-up is inside out. I just own it, I'm just a fallible human after all. But, if you feel you'd like to share your inside out or back to front stories please feel free to tell me below. I'd like the laugh.