She met him in a bar one cold July evening.
She had gone there with a friend to take the usual two glasses of wine before heading home. Things were tough for both of them at that time. They had no jobs and they were having a tough time getting by. The wine was an avenue for them to forget their tribulations, if only for a while.
He was so loud, she remembers. He talked like he was addressing the whole bar and she wasn't sure she liked that about him. He offered more drinks and she soon started enjoying listening to him. All the stories and the way he made them laugh. That was the beginning of a long 7 yr relationship.
She wasn't sure she loved him. He was a married man and 15 years her senior. But he took care of her in a way no one else ever had. He gave her money every time they met and she needed the money. It became an addiction you see. This went on for a long time and she found she couldn't break away from him. His was a lifestyle unlike any she had ever had. The drunk late nights and the money.
Soon, the fights started. Not physical no. They were verbal . It was routine, go out, get drunk fights and make up the following day. She knew she had to get out and she did try. She got herself a job and became independent. But he wouldn't let her go. She got into another relationship but was too afraid to let him know because as much as he was not good for her, she felt he really did care deep down. He was one person she knew she could count on when things went wrong. She wasn't sure she wanted to lose that and so she strung him along even long after she had genuinely fallen in love with another man.
She had hoped that by distancing herself a little, he would let go of her and they could remain friends but that didn't work. he needed time with her, and because she was afraid of losing him entirely, she met him occasionally albeit grudgingly. The sex wasn't great to start with and now it became a chore to her. She didn't know how to say no to him.
Of course the other relationship didn't work. she was caught up in this web and she didn't know how to get herself out. He found out about the other lover. Things were not pleasant for a while. But he came back to her and even though in her heart she had hoped this is what was going to set her free from him.
She wished for a different life, one where she wasn't dating a married man. One where she was herself married and getting children of her own. 7 years was a long time and she felt she had wasted her best years on this man. After all ,her girlfriend had already gotten married and had had her first child.
She had to get out. This wasn't love, this was emotional en-slavery.
