Irving was a quiet guy, but his mind was not. That's why he was thinking about his next vacation destination, while grocery shopping. A 4-star hotel, wheat bread, sunscreen, peanut butter... until without realizing it, he was already at home.
But shortly after arriving and taking off all his winter clothes, the doorbell rang. For an instant, he thought something had fallen out on the way, or maybe not.
“Yes, I'm coming, hold on!” shouted Irving as he heard the doorbell keep ringing.
“Hello, good evening, sir. This is Wings Mail. You have a package from Wealth South Zone,” said a little man with a Christmas hat and a luminous Colgate smile.
Irving couldn't help but see this and think it was one of Santa's elves outside his door.
“Excuse me, but maybe it's not for me,” Irving said in confusion.
“It's for you. Oak Street, No. 33, Irving State. Secret gift from secret admirer,” the little man replied, pointing to the ID label on the box.
This brought a faint smile to Irving's dry face. It seemed joy alone signed the letter and he took the box in haste. The desired location was no longer Brickell or Curazao, but his living room.
Almost as frozen as he was excited, Irving walked over to the living room fireplace and, feeling the relief of having his hands and cheeks warm again, began to cut into the box with the knife on his Victorinox key ring.
The box appeared to be tightly sealed, which is why Irving was slow to see what was inside. Until, at last, tearing the last ribbon with his teeth, he saw that it was completely empty.
The face of the bored young man turned as red as the flame that until recently had shone the illusion of receiving a special gift. Irving soon imagined it was a prank by his co-workers at Lenovo.
“Luke, April's fool was a long time ago, wasn't it? Just because you have five different girlfriends every month, it doesn't give you the right to make fun of those who don't,” Irving shouted into the cell phone.
“Look, dude, I don't know what you're talking about,” his co-worker replied absolutely baffled.
“You sent me a surprise box, posing as a girl. That was it!” insisted Irving.
“I wish I had as much time to do that, but I'm just busy now seeing which Christmas boxer will look sexier for Alicia,” Luke said with a chuckle.
This unhinged Irving. He couldn't take his frustration any longer and threw his cell phone on the floor. The poor thing bounced three times here and there before it made its last sound.
“Why so mad, dear?” uttered a mysterious voice.
Irving looked from side to side. His restless look accompanied the anxious expression on his face, which was stunned to see that on his large sofa lay a small chattering fox.
“You were looking for me? You got me. I'm Lavissa, the best companion that has ever come into your life,” the fox said as she slowly approached Irving.
The poor man couldn't believe the experience his senses were showing him. Even though he wanted to respond, his body trembled and his tongue froze.
“Look at you, always so sure of saying you have no feelings, and now you're surrendering to me,” the little fox continued to speak.
“What the heck do they make toys out of now? Not even AI can make this!” gasped Irving.
“Don't you remember me? You went looking for love in me,” expressed the little reddish creature before undergoing a violent transformation.
Suddenly, the chattering fox from before, now appeared as a tall woman with an hourglass figure and lively copper curls, almost covering her eyes, wearing a short red dress, tightly fitted to her body, revealing juicy pale legs that came vibrating closer and closer as if walking down a catwalk.
Such a scene could not leave him with any expression other than “wow”. It was as if he had been hypnotized by a spell.
Just as imposing as she already looked, Lavissa pulled a whip out of nowhere, saying in a barely audible voice:
“From tonight and forever, you will be mine.”
Irving, still overcome by his instincts, came to question whether this was all real.
“Alexa, how did you grow up so sexy? They never told me this could happen at Lenovo.
“I'm not a robot, not an AI, idiot. Maybe you need a whipping to get a better look at me,” she replied with obvious mischief in her eyes.
And, wapeesh! She cracked the whip on the floor, just because he was able to dodge it at the last moment. Irving couldn't believe his bad luck. The threat posed by Lavissa increased every time something new was broken in his house.
Irving came to realize who it was by the time half the house was in pieces.
“You're...you're the witch I visited last night. I just asked you to give me a love like the ones in the Christmas movies,” he explained.
“And, here I am, your Christmas in advance for life!” replied Lavissa before pouncing on Irving with a Machiavellian expression.
Against a corner of his own house, tachycardic and helpless, that's how Irving thought his life would end. However, a stampede of men broke down the front door and lit up the scene both literal and metaphorically.
It was the state police who, responding to an emergency call from Luke Shaz, rushed to Irving's house.
Seeing herself cornered, Lavissa wanted, as wicked as she was, to set everything on fire, but the cops didn't let their guard down, and quickly pinned her down by making a human pile on top of her.
“4-3-11! We have the HighSky Street suspect,” one of the officers reported.
“Irving, buddy, are you okay?“ Looks like a tornado went through here,” Luke said as he entered the house.
“Geez, Luke, I don't know what to think about women anymore, or Christmas. Look, they're both really cute, but if they don't bankrupt me, they almost kill me,” Irving replied spreading his arms wide and staring endlessly at that mess.
“C'mon, dude, what really happened?” asked Luke again.
But before Irving answered, everyone in the place saw how underneath the huddled cops, a fox scurried out. Lavissa had turned into an animal again.
“I was supposed to be the one to apprehend him, not you to apprehend me. Good riddance, you useless things,” she said before launching herself into the flames of the fireplace and vanishing into the sparks.
“Tell me you didn't take her out of a strip club,” Luke joked interjecting glances at his friend and the shocked cops.
“Not at all. It's a long story, but longer seems the overtime hours I'll have to work to repair all this. Goodbye, Curazao!” cried Irving like a little boy.
Even though what had happened made no sense to Luke, with much alterity, he decided to put his banal expenses aside, and support the ruined Irving, covering much of the repairs, and inviting him to his family's Christmas dinner.
When the time came to say a few words, Irving tuned his throat and looked at everyone parsimoniously.
“A few days ago I asked for love this Christmas, but I didn't know it would come in the form of a new family. A truly special gift. I thank Luke, who saved my life.”
“I just sent the police to his house thinking he had gone crazy after working with me for so long,” Luke commented before a laugh that infected everyone.
Luke and Irving's family raised their glasses in celebration on what would be the first Christmas he would not spend alone after moving to Pennsylvania ten years ago.
