Greetings Steemian's
Although this may appear to be a question I am asking my audience, it's not. It's actually an inward reflection. Why would someone ask themselves such a question?
I suppose I should state a little disclaimer here. There will be some adult language in this blog post. I am writing this to help me process things, and I'm in a bit of an angry state. I don't generally post when I am in a foul mood, but realism is what you get with me. If I feel the need to post, and it's beneficial to me, I post. So, if you're easily offended by potty mouth words, leave now. If you stick around, there will be some intelligent thought comprised of these words regardless. So let's begin.
In this life, if you expect things from people, you are in for a world of disappointment; perhaps even pain.
My sanctuary
Sometimes it's easy to think you are doing something for someone without a certain set of expectations, but if you feel like they are shitting down your throat afterwards, you definitely attached expectations, even if you didn't realize it.
Why am I even mentioning this? Because I am thoroughly pissed at myself for not recognizing patterns and behaviors with individuals. Patterns and behaviors that I know are indicative of selfishness, as well as the role I play in this mind fuckery.
I'm a man, that will give the shirt off my back for someone. It genuinely makes me feel good to help others, but you see, this problem occurs: When I am in the position of need, oft times, the individuals who I gave my shirt to, are rocking that bitch in fine fashion at the night club and can't be bothered. Holy shit! I can't begin to tell you how angry I become, and hurt!
Many times, people will even vehemently state that they have your back if need be, but don't be convinced every time you hear this. It's usually genuine in it's nature, because the "feel good" sensation they just experienced leads them to say things they really don't mean. It's akin to being pissed off and saying something you regret saying. At the time, you meant it, but upon further inspection of your communication, you may realize you really didn't mean it. This is what I see with the perpetual promiser. Being a promisee is a dangerous water to tread, because it's bundled with expectation.
Now this question is directed at my audience: Where do you draw the line? When your code of ethics is being violated? That is, you feel you are being taken advantage of, as a means to someone else's end? This process may not even be something they are acutely aware they are doing! When you are a giving person, people will naturally think of you in times of need. This is a fact that I have learned throughout my life, and I believe it to be a factual, naturally occurring phenomenon.
Kind of like when a patient in psychiatry feels lonely, and latches onto their therapist in a phenomenon described as transference. For anyone who doesn't know what transference is, simply put, it's when a therapist fills a role that the patient desires, or is reminded of, in one capacity or another.
Strange things occur when a person is in need, and it's not right that others might knowingly exploit an individual because of this deficit. So where do we draw lines, and set boundaries? I might I also state, that we must draw this line into our digital selves as well, because fake friends do exist in spaces where money is to be made, sad but true. Don't fall victim to manipulating block hounds, they are lurking around every corner. More on that in a bit.
I think if you can discern the motives of others, with a halfway accurate perception, you will be more equip to protect yourself. I think for the person in need, selfishness becomes a must, because you cannot help others, when you are not in the position to help. You become detrimental to yourself, your own well being, and this is a slippery slope to be on. I would know, it's been sucking the energy out of me my entire life.
If you are in an independent position, where you can assess a situation and say "There is nothing I could possibly need in return for offering this help to someone", I would suggest you are in a good position to help. If helping them entails borrowing money from them a week or two down the road, you are functioning within the parameters of maniacal delusions.
I've certainly been doing this to myself forever, and it's been driving me fucking insane lately, as I sit in this homeless shelter needing help from people I've helped. Fuck that!!!
I vow to become selfish for a while, to protect my sanity, and my independence!!!!
It's time I become a bit self serving, so I can get out of this mess, and get on with my independent life. I guess, some people will have to start hearing the word no. And why not? They are so great at telling me no!
A little bit on the blockchain friends topic. I've talked about inflection, and the lack thereof in text, and we need to be very perceptive of this aspect. We create our own narratives in text, whether you choose to believe this or not. Some things are subtle, some obvious, and some, completely misinterpreted. It's a fact that this disconnect is real, and yet another phenomenon that we experience. We must be aware of this.
I can say, with full confidence, that I have 1 true friend on the blockchain, and there is no need to say who, because this person knows exactly who they are. Why am I so certain this person is a true friend? Because we have a friendship built on respect, honesty, courtesy, and complete lack of expectation. This person has never judged me, and I have never judged this person. We have had, an impactful relationship with one another, of this I am sure, we relate to each other in a way that is hard to describe, and I am certain our friendship will last a lifetime. These are the kind of friendships I seek, and if this person remains the only true friend I have for the rest of my life, I will die a happy man.
So how should we treat our Steemit relationships, in general terms? Some of you may not like what I am about to say. Treat them as business associates, yes. I know it sounds fucking crazy, but it will protect your sanity.
That is not to say that strong relationships cannot develop over time with this approach, I'm sure quite the opposite is true, and I am not insisting that I only have one true friend on the blockchain, I am insisting that I know for sure I have one true friend. There is a difference. I am not negating from the idea that many of my associates here are good people, with true intentions. I think it's likely that many of them are good people indeed. We just need to be a bit cautious.
So how would one go about this new way of thinking in a Steemy environment? (no pun intended lol) I would suggest, view your vote, or any other form of "business" with them, as an investment into their quality work, because by investing in them, you are protecting what you value on the Steem blockchain, you are protecting your sanity, and you are protecting your future in this environment.
So if I upvote you, it's not because you are my friend. It's because I feel your intellectual content is quality, and deserving of reward, and this doesn't mean I don't think you are a cool person, or someone that I couldn't be friends with, it's just a different perspective, that is not entirely out of line with how I perform my upvote analysis anyways. It's always been on the basis of quality, but I've overlooked a few things, and I've been forced to question the motives of some of my blockchain "friends". I am ok with people who create quality content latching onto me for my support, but lets keep shit real... If you are here to make money, and money alone, I will respect you more if you are upfront with me, and I will still support you if you produce quality, because this mode of operation protects my platform. If you want to be friends, perhaps a friendship will develop over time. Only time will tell.
Contemplation
Despite the confliction with my name, I don't have a crystal ball, and I don't see the future. I'm quite good at predicting certain things that might happen in the future, but it's merely a matter of deducing variables, and thinking about potential outcome. I am not a psychic. So I don't know if you want to be my friend, and I don't know if you want to take advantage of me. One thing is for sure, if your work is shit, you will not get my upvote, no matter how nice you are to me, how convincing your adage to "unconditional friendship" may be. I'm not buying it 99 percent of the time now. I'm just not. I've seen enough to get the big picture here.
And I don't want anyone to think I am specifically addressing them passively aggressively, these are just general thoughts, definitely based on some shit I've seen. All I can say, is if the shoe fits, wear it...
So now, it's back to work for me, with a somewhat different perspective. I value all of the quality content providers here, no matter what your preference of content is. If you are producing popular content, you are good for this platform, and good for me. Yeah, it sounds selfish, and it is, because this is how I have to be now. Outside influences, affecting me in a negative way, forcing me to be someone I'm not for a while. Yup the asshole will come out from time to time now. It's just the way it will be, and I am sorry if this disappoints anyone, but it's not affecting my mission here one bit, and I don't give a shit if you don't like it. In fact, not liking my perspective, would certainly make me question your motives.
As soon as I post this, I'll likely think of more points I missed, but that's what the comments are for. Don't be bashful, I won't bite. hard.
Good day everyone. Thanks for being here with me!
@good-karma for witness!Please consider voting helpie for witness
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Much love,
