Distrust ||| Why I Will Never Let Someone Else Raise My Child
Distrust is our closed mind about someone who can't be relied on. Some things can make us feel distrust toward someone or something and sometimes it is okay as we might be preventing some disasters from happening.
Distrust is our gut telling us to be wary of whom we are relying on.
Trust is a powerful thing, hence when given to the wrong hands can cause a lot of damage to us.
My experience
Something happened when I was very little, between the age of four and five, it was a terrible experience, and why I can never let my kids be raised by a family member.
My grandmother was very sick and my mom had to travel to stay with her for a while as we live in two different states. Mom wanted me to come with her but due to my closeness with my dad, I refused and chose to stay with dad.
A while after Mom was gone my uncle came over and was like, "I haven't started schooling". There is this very good school in the state where he resides and he could enroll me there. My dad told him that there were no good schools around the village where we lived for a child of my age so he was waiting for me to grow a little so that he will be able to enroll me in a far location that has good schools.
My uncle and my dad are like five and six, their relationship is very solid and beautiful. He will always come around whenever he is on break from his police work to spend time with us. He is very kind and always took good care of me and my siblings.
So when he offered to take me to the town where he resides, my dad could not see a reason why I shouldn't follow him. If only he knows what was installed for his precious daughter.
It didn't take a day when we arrived in that town for me to realize that my uncle is still a very kind man that used to visit our home but his wife was the opposite of him.
My uncle will leave the house for work for days before he will come around and it will be just me and his wife.
Back at home, my parents treat me with love, care, and affection. My parents know how to make sure I behave well without them ever raising a finger on me.There are foods such as beans, bread, and eba that I hated to eat and they will never offer them to me.
But whenever my uncle is not at home those are mostly the foods I will be offered to eat. Which I will end up vomiting. Then follows with a beating from her. I will cry my eyes out. After a few weeks, I became very thin like a sick child.
She will beat me up at any slight mistake. I became a shadow of my former self. On one occasion I reported her maltreatment to my uncle, when he confronted her, a fight broke out between them that led to a serious injury from her to my uncle's head. Ever since then, I became more scared of reporting anything she does to my uncle.
I can't remember how long I stayed with them as I'm too young to keep accurate track of months and for some reasons best known to them I was never enrolled in school for all that time.
One day my mom came to check on me and she busted into tears on sighting me from afar. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw me. I had become so lean that she hardly recognized me.
When she was leaving she wanted to carry me along but my uncle refused to let her, saying it is only my dad who can send for me and since my dad hasn't done so she had no such right. She left that day with swollen eyes from shedding tears.
I'm pretty sure she gave my dad some piece of her mind by the time she reached home. A little while later, my uncle, his wife, and I had to travel home to attend a family member's wedding.
When we reached home, I still remember how my dad was questioning me to hear from me how I was fearing but I lied to him that they were treating me well as I am very scared that if I tell Dad, she usually beats me at any little thing and when we went back she may decide to punish me.
When we were back to Kogi state where my family lives, my dad told them that I won't be following them again and that I'm old enough to join my elder brother in school. She (my uncle's wife) started crying and asking why my dad would do that to her but my dad's decision was final.
Ever since then, my dad has vowed that none of his kids will ever leave his sight again until we are grown enough to fend for ourselves.
My dad apologizes for entrusting me to them and spent years making sure I forget that terrible experience.
Because of experiences like this and some other people, similar experiences made me think this way.
I know there are some good relatives that will do right by your kids but the percentage is very low and I will never take any chances with my child.
Everyday I pray for good health and a long life so that I can be a great parent to my child.
This is my response into this month
Emotional Intelligence Theme of April
Thank you for your time,