Hello Hivers!
Today I'm walking you through my weight-loss journey (or for me, my entire life)
Until my 6/7 years old, the concept of weight wasn't there for me besides the usual check-ups at the doctor.
But ever since I remember, I've always been the "fatty" in my friends' group and that thought had always been present in my mind.
Not because of school bullying or anything related, all the bullying and the body shaming came from inside of my own home.
My "mother" used to say things like "You're so fat."; "Nobody is going to want you"; "Have you seen those models? Have looked at your sister? She's so skinny".
Whenever she was called out for saying those things to a 10 yo, she would clap back saying "Well, I rather have her traumatized now rather than later" - I guess we can say she did a good job on that one.
I lost count of how many diets I underwent, "I found you a new nutritionist so maybe this time you can stick to a diet"
Atkins, Dunkan, Hacker's, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Apple diet, Master Cleanse, Gluten-free, Lactose-free, Military diet, Low-"everything", soups, intermittent fasting - you name it, I've done it!
Those teenage years were simply me always on the verge of fainting and whenever I was about to eat something: "Are you sure you going to eat that?";
Eventually developed an emotional eating disorder that was brushed off by a "No, she just likes to eat" - which at the time was just not true.
When I reached High School I started to get a kick from running, I would run 12 km per day, and still, I would be called fat at my own house, so if I had time at the end of the day, I would run an extra 12km.
Here's a picture from that time:
After a septum surgery recovery of months, I lost a lot of resistance, and ever since then I never was able to get back on that track, and it really saddens me that my version above thought she was overweight.
But I still kept trying diets after diet until the day I left home for college.
When I finally found myself alone without someone to scream at me because of calories and drinking more beer than eating that's when I really reached my peak.
However, this time was different, even though I was way past my ideal weight and being unhealthy I no longer felt the need to eat when I was emotional, that disorder was gone with the wind.
I wasn't healthy but I was finally learning how to love myself.
When I finally snapped out of it, I was having so much fun.
On one of those fun nights, I fell in love.
We started going out and everything was around food, which was a match made in heaven.
But funny enough, with all our eating and drinking, I started to lose weight.
Slowly, but I was.
But everything changed when we started to stay in more often and he would do the cooking, that and COVID closing all the bars so there wasn't imported beer for no one.
In one year I lost almost 40kg (88 pounds approximately).
No crazy about to faint diet, pretty stuffed all the time, no screaming or shaming eventually lead me to a very healthy weight loss.
Clearly, something was wrong for all those years, and I don't think it had to do with me or the food.
And if you're asking yourself "Ain't she telling me how?" I can't say I have an answer.
Whole foods instead of ultra-processed foods were pivotal!
I had a very infantile taste, but I eventually overcame my gross for onions and vinegar.
People laugh when I say this but I did not stop drinking.
But I think there's a clear distinction between sharing a bottle of wine at dinner and drinking 9 liters (2.3 gallons) of beer every night.
I exchanged my loyalty to beer for something a lot better and the results were shown.
When my "mother" saw me for the first time after months and saw me skinny, her eyes were glittering, and says "I guess love really makes wonders" (it did, it could have been sooner if you knew that right?).
Now, here comes the problem in this whole deal:
For years, I was overweight and the comments were non-stop.
When I finally lost the weight that every family member liked to point out, all I hear and all I get are comments or messages saying "OMG, you're so skinny, is everything ok?", "Aren't you too skinny?"
"You should see a doctor".
It's really true that people want to see you good, but never better than them.
And especially when they notice that you don't need them to motivate you.
I live a pretty "healthy" life (I tried exercise, but I was really made to have a surgeon).
When it comes to food, I finally understood what my body likes, what it needs and how it reacts to changes.
My diet I would say is more inclined and based on the KETO diet, but I don't stress over "prohibitions", I don't have "cheat days", I eat what I want when I want.
"Cheat-days" were usually when everything went downhill for me due to the "emotional eater" I was, so I rather eat it. I also avoid buying certain things for sure, but because I understood how processed sugar was addictive.
I have a sweet tooth but nowadays I rather fetch a pastry in the bakery rather than buying over-processed cookies.
Which also helped me get this mindset, was also understanding what I was eating.
Do I recognize every ingredient or is there something I'm not sure of? If I don't really understand it, I try to avoid it.
And that's how I lost weight, with lots of love and patience from my personal chef and not being constantly pushed and name-called.
