"I feel trapped," I said to my husband with tears in my eyes.
I wanted to cut off my dreadlocks...like to the root. I was tired of the weight, of the scratchiness, of how long it takes to wash them, how long it takes them to dry, and of how my scalp was started to show because the weight was causing them to separate too much. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair...regular hair, and I wanted to braid it again.
I told him I was jealous of him and his ability to grow and cut his beard and hair whenever and however much he wanted. Dreads are a commitment...and cutting them off? Man...even more.
I cried a lot...because I'm a crier and because my dreads have given me crazy amounts of freedom within myself and now I felt stuck in them.
They have been an amazing symbol of spontaneity and fearlessness. From the first time I stepped out into a public place with crazy baby dreads until just the other day, people look at me differently. In a good way. It's been seven and a half years since I've been sized up by another woman. Instead I receiving glares, because woman can be caddy, I receive loads of compliments and often hear, "I want them so bad, but I can't!"
It's given me courage to bring to light sides of my personality that have lingered in the shadows a bit since childhood.
So what do I do?
Well, my husband held me and he heard me. Then he came up with a plan.
He suggested doing a drastic cut. I had chopped off inches before, but this would be different and I was game. Then, if I still felt like I wanted to go to the root, we would do that.
So, last night, before dinner I sat down in a chair, and the love of my life took a pair of scissors to my hair. With each snip my head felt lighter and I was a little more liberated. It was glorious!
When he was done, there was a good size wad of dreadlocks on the table, and a lot more joy in my heart! I trimmed up the regular hair I have that lines my face, and bam! It was a beautiful!
I always encourage people to change their lives if they're unhappy. If you feel stuck, do whatever you can to move again. The weight of the world can stop us in our tracks if we let it, but we have the power to make our lives our own, even if it is our own decisions getting in the way.
My head hasn't felt this light in seven years! My scalp already looks better, and a lot less like I'm going bald. It feels like a fresh start! And I feel like I conquered my own frustrations.
Funny though, I woke up in the middle of the night and had completely forgotten until I looked in the mirror...it was such a shock I laughed out loud!
Thanks so much for sharing this with me!
Much love,
Stacie D