Many people get married believing that life would be perfect, grand and enchanting, something like a fairy tale; one who’d solve all your problems, because when the euphoria wears off, you begin to realize that the reality doesn’t meet up to your expectations. For some, when this realities wears out, they go in search of side chics and side cocks. You know something to bring that euphoria back, forgetting that it's only in a little while that tantalizing and seductive feeling would soon wear off, and then the cycle of search continues.
Secondly, several people get married believing that they'd never be attracted to other people aside their spouses so when this reality hits them, they either feel guilty, succumb to their feelings or start an affair.
We must face the reality about marriage before we venture into it except you're opting for an open marriage.
You'll always be attracted to others asides your partner. FACT.
There is more than more person who would meet your ideal specification of a mate. ANOTHER FACT.
This is the reason why we get attracted to other people even though we're married or in committed relationships.
If you are to get married believing you’ll never be attracted to other men or women, you’re being delusional and not being real with yourself.
This is what makes finding a life patner, getting married a CHOICE in truest sense of the word.
Out of all the people you know, out of all the friendships you develop, out of the legitimate "possibles" before you, you're gonna choose ONE person with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life. This is not a flighty, haphazard, head-in-the-
clouds choice, but a deliberate, sober, feet- firmy - planted - on- the ground decision.
Its reaching the place where you approach another and say with deliberate confidence, "I CHOOSE YOU!!"
Unfortunately, many people never get to this place. They meet some other person, and discard or realise that they never made the right choice in the first place.
See, if you're dating a man or woman who has not gotten to this place of saying "with deliberate confidence it is you I have chosen till the end of my life", this person would meet some other who’s more beguiling, ravishing than you, and cheat on you. FACT. And this is beyond their religious beliefs.
No matter how much we love our spouse, how committed we are to them, we
will ALWAYS meet other men or women who would attract us. This is very NATURAL, INEVITABLE and NORMAL. FACT
( How we deal with this reality would determine to a large extent the success or failure of our marriages).
We can either live in guilt for feeling attracted to some other person asides our spouse, suppress the feelings or start an affair and start searching for fairy tale again, or come to terms with this reality. Many people start affairs, sadly. Hence, the ministry of side chics is booming .
Once we remember and know that there are many suitable people we could have married, and not just one, we’d never be surprised when we feel attracted to some other person.
Finally, that CHOICE we’ve made to marry a particular person calls for a FIRM COMMITMENT to be FAITHFUL to the one we’ve chosen. This is the problem with many. They’ve chosen yet they still want to roam about. Na! You can’t eat your cake and have it, although some may be getting away with it.
I think pre-marital counseling sessions should learn to focus on this - that marriage is a CHOICE, WHERE YOU FORSAKE ALL OTHERS. This way, extra marital affairs would be minimal and people would make well informed choices before choosing who to marry.
Stay blessed 🙌.
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