Why do people go into marriage? Is it for themselves or for children?
The priority you set for getting married determines the age bracket you end up with.
If you are going into marriage for yourselves as priority the best age bracket that will make it worth its while is 40 and above but if you are going into marriage for children you end up choosing from 20 age bracket.
I was actually having this discuss as a single lady with a married man with growthup children. He was blindly arguing with me from experience that the first priority for marriage is for children I told him if you approach marriage that way you will ended with 20 age bracket which will give you children but you ended up with immature person that barely understand marriage other than from sex, food,children and money perspective.
There is someone I know who stopped communicating after marriage.they barely talk which is very important in marriage.when communication deads in marriage nothing is left other than serving your divorce paper to end it officially.
This is the difference between getting married for yourselves or for children the priority direct the age bracket you choose from.
So if your 40 and above and barely getting proposals from men let me tell you ladies it's not your fault it's poor mentality of our men who prioritise children over choosing themselves first. Most children especially in this generation dnt prioritise their parents they drift away from their parents from 18 years so why prioritise children for your marriage decision other than yourself.
You may think is being selfish prioritizing yourself in marriage decision is not being selfish but setting limit to what controls your choices of a spouse that remains with after children drift away.
When making marriage decision put yourself first followed by finances before children. This is because if you are alive,well,happy and financially ok children can be gotten through so many means now. If you are having issue with child bearing dnt let it make you make a poor marriage decision. You can explore other child bearing option in medical science with your financially balanced life everything is possible around child bearing.
Go and ask most new generation parents who are depending on there children for the oldage how far with children market.
I learnt of a man in south Africa who used his own hand to end his child's life and people where cursing him.
From what I understand about child development and upbringing dnt ever leave it to luck.
Because factors that influence how your child conduct his or herself in life begins with environment and peer group.A child can easily abandoned home training loose themselves to their environment and peer pressure. Be intentional about the environment,friends and group your child move in they external factor has more impact on children than the internal factors because of too much familiarity with internal environment they can easily grow resistant to influence of internal and subsceptible and venerable to the external influence.
So if you prioritise children in your marriage decision and they end up drifting from your idea they will take care of you at your oldage who lost parents or the children.
In marriage keep communication alive like it's the life blood of the marriage system.
Dnt say your spouse talks too much until you have the one that dnt talk at all you understand the different and impact in communication.
When you talk about talking empty vessel dnt make the most noise. Why do I reverse this quote. People who dnt talk a processing what to talk but people who talk are already loaded with knowledge of what they want to express themselves about even if they dnt by mere willingness to engage learning is facilitated. So I can say silent vessel do alot of processing into what they are not ready to engage on until they are ready.
Unprepared public presentation gives you unstructured way to say more than you think you know.
This piece am drafting now I didnt prepare for it, I just started writing about it and that is it it flows and am I not striking points.
Can you get this kind of exposure and maturity to address any problem in marriage from a 20 yr old who see marriage as child bearing ,food,house chores, sex money.
Marriage is way beyond that in this century. Learn to prioritise yourselves when choosing spouses stop prioritizing children in marriage decision they will drift eventually and you are both left like you start before having them that is when you begin to either appreciate or regret the type of choice you made for a marriage life partner because it will be back to where you first started and how it all started accessing either if the choice was worth it that is if God keeps you both alife till that old age for the opportunity for reassessement of your choice in life.
Let me talk about Gossip.
If gossip was that bad people wouldn't be using it for business name. Let me lick you a secret gossip is good business infact it makes life go round and worth living.
Gossip help you in reassessing your self worth.
Because gossips dnt talk about things that are empty but full. And something that is full has weight and weight has value. So can you see how gossip can actually add weight to your life and make you important to talk about. If it's not worth talking gossips wouldn't talk about it.
Without gossip the devil will not have been uncovered and kicked out of heaven can't you see gossips are really valuable infact people you take about you behind your back are really an asset to your life.
sometimes pay tithe on their heads to increase your net worth in their racing mouths. Because the more they talk bad about you the more you are gathering information on this to work on in yourself to give them more of what to talk about till nothing bad is left to talk about but the goodness they made out of you from their bad mouthing you while you are busy making the necessary adjustment to become a better version of what they need to rant about.
Let me stop here for now with a final note be careful what you pay attention as humans we are more venerable to our external environment than we resist our internal enviroment no matter how much we deny this fact.
Love yourself in how your love people around you and you encounter daily whether physical or online because of the power of external influence you carry people are venerable to.
Thank you.
