Hi my fellow bloggers... Miss me?
I won't say this is a comeback post 'cos it's been a while and for the record, I didn't leave, I was just going through a lot but I'm still here... I'll always be as long a there's life **winks
Lately, my life feels like a continuous cycle of responsibility, love, worry, and quiet strength. My days do not begin gently; they begin with awareness. Even before I fully open my eyes, I am already listening — for a cough, a movement, a cry. Motherhood has tuned my ears and my heart to constant alertness.
My baby’s health has been at the front of my mind — fevers that make my chest tighten, questions about whether breast milk is still enough at six months, whether pap with soya is sufficient, whether egg yolk is introduced well, whether the timing is right. I think about immunizations coming up. I count days. I observe stool patterns. I notice feeding frequency. I analyze every sign. When he doesn’t stool for a few hours, I wonder. When he fusses at night because his gums are scratching him, I lose sleep but stay patient. When he bites my finger or breast, I remind myself he’s growing.
My toddler’s cough and catarrh brought another layer — the wheezing mostly at night, slight weakness during the day, trying ginger, garlic, onions, saline drops, doing what I can with what I have. Every remedy carries hope. Every improvement brings relief.
In the middle of caring for them, my own body speaks too. Stomach upsets that leave me weak. Leg cramps when I stand after sitting long to breastfeed. A missed step that left my foot swollen and painful. Yet even with discomfort, I still cook, still clean, still show up.
And then there is work.
Every day I go out, carrying more than just a bag — I carry expectations. Recently, sales have been dull. Very dull. Customers are few. Income is inconsistent. But expenses? They are steady. Rising. Unforgiving. School needs, food, transportation, household demands — they don’t pause because business is slow. I calculate constantly in my head. What can wait? What cannot? How do I stretch this?
There’s a quiet anxiety that comes with being responsible and not seeing immediate results. It’s not loud panic — it’s a steady pressure. A whisper of “what if?” What if this season continues? What if it gets harder?
And yet… I still wake up. I still try. I still plan. I still pray.
Some nights, exhaustion wraps around me. Not just physical tiredness, but emotional weight. The kind that comes from caring deeply about everything — children, health, finances, future. I question myself sometimes. Am I doing enough? Am I making the right decisions? Should I be stronger? Smarter? More prepared?
But when I step outside of the worry and look at the full picture, I see something else.
I see growth.
I see attentiveness.
I see resilience.
I see faith being tested but not broken.
I see a woman who may be tired but is not giving up. A woman learning in real time — about nutrition, about first aid, about business, about patience, about endurance. A woman who carries both tenderness and strength in the same hands.
This season is stretching me. It is refining me. It is teaching me that strength is not loud — sometimes it looks like showing up to work when sales are discouraging. Sometimes it looks like breastfeeding through the night. Sometimes it looks like researching remedies. Sometimes it looks like crying quietly and still waking up the next morning ready to try again.
My days are not glamorous. They are full. They are demanding. They are real.
But in the middle of the pressure, there is love. There is commitment. There is faith.
And somehow, even with dull sales, rising expenses, sleepless nights, and constant responsibility — I am still standing.
And that must mean something
