Lately, I’ve been feeling a little low—not because something bad happened, but just that emotional wave that comes uninvited. Maybe it’s the hormones or the weight of everything I’m holding together. I don’t always have the words for it, but I feel it deeply like you know that "perhaps" kind of feeling 🙃
On Sunday, I was in church and everything seemed fine on the surface. But inside, I was already a bit tired; physically, emotionally. I hadn’t eaten before leaving the house because I was rushing to help a friend iron her clothes. My husband ended up doing it for me, which I’m grateful for. Church ran longer than usual because we had a program, and I could feel myself running low.
This is the selfie I took on Sunday when I went to visit my the new soul added to the family
Toward the end of service, they called for people to come out and make pledges. I didn’t go out. Maybe because I didn’t have anything to spare or so i thought. Maybe because I had already planned to use the little I had to visit my co-wife who just had a baby the day before. But as I sat there, I felt this deep ache. A tear dropped, and I still don’t know whether it was hunger, guilt, sadness, or all three. Later, I told myself, “What you gave to that new baby and mother matters. You gave where it was needed.” I may be wrong depending on how you view it but that comforted me a little.
This is the inside view of the gate to the compound where I live
Then something beautiful happened that same day—my husband got the call. The job he interviewed for came through! He was asked to resume in another state. It’s a small beginning, but it feels like a big door quietly opening. I believe this is the start of a transformative journey for us, even if it doesn’t look like much yet. We don’t have it all figured out, but I believe God is leading the way even though it looks rough to me now but I believe.
This is the picture of the staircase leading to my apartment. (My thoughts made me take a picture)
This morning, I came out to my shop early and saw how untidy the front was. I waited for my girl to arrive and we started packing sand to level the ground, just two small bags really. My shop is close to the church and that was where we were getting the sand from, so when she went for the last pack, the pastor stopped her. I asked her to explain it was the final one, but he still refused. It got to me—not because of the sand, but because sometimes when you're doing something small with good intentions, it feels hurtful to be shut down without a chance to explain. That’s been on my mind all day.
And maybe that’s where minimalism comes in—not in owning less stuff, but in caring about the few things that truly matter. I’ve been learning to let go of the noise, the pressure to always show up a certain way, or give even when I don’t have. I’m learning to do what I can, from the heart, with the little I have. That, too, is enough or so I feel..
This season is stretching me, teaching me. It’s quiet, sometimes heavy—but I trust it’s leading somewhere meaningful. Maybe I don’t have to understand it all right now. I just have to keep moving, with grace, one small step at a time. This is Flora daring to bare.
This post is for the #transformationthursday
