Who am I? That seems such a simple question and yet it is nearly impossible to answer. I am not done becoming me yet, how can I know who I am?! 🤷🏼
Allow me to tell you a little about what I do, maybe even how I think, perhaps together we can get a sense of who I am.
I write. Like most people breathe, I write. Poetry, lyrics, political commentary, investigations and research, humor... it all rolls around in my head and wants out. I am a complete word nerd, winning spelling bees and essay competitions and such as a child on a regular basis. I am good enough at Scrabble that people won't play me any more, I have to play the computer. I have an internet buddy who invented a new word game - Scrabble on steroids. There are very few people who even play it and if you do not know which boards to use I will just eat you alive there, too. I usually just play the bot. People occasionally challenge me but quit after two or three plays and I am already just pounding them. I do not dumb down my game for adults. The game / website is anadro.me if there are any word nerds out there who want to give it a try. I like crosswords, but now they are all about pop culture and I don't do pop culture. I have no idea what is even on TV any more, or what is playing at the theater and have probably never heard of the star. I take great pride in that ignorance, but it leaves me drawing a blank on most crossword clues.
I have an adventurous soul. One of my former friends from grade school is now a former friend because she once called me a liar about my life. She is a timid little thing, and just could not believe that I live the amazing life I do. I did not bother to show her my photos. What do you say to someone who just calls you a liar about your entire life? (I say "Goodbye.") The truth is, I go whitewater canoeing, kayaking and rafting:
I was an early follower of Thundebolts Project and Suspicious0bserver. I play piano and guitar. I sing with the Whoville choir. I roast my own organic, fair trade coffee. I drink, swear, cuss and pray. I walk the red road like a white girl. I love rockhounding and I do lapidary work on some of my finds. I seek and develop innovations in gardening, I helped make home fodder growing a "thing" and was among the first people on youtube promoting aquaponics. I have a cow for a therapy dog. I once ran the largest ophthalmology clinic in Idaho. Now I have been officially diagnosed as crazy as shit. SSRI's nearly killed me and left me with some sort of adrenal damage. Officially, I suffer an "anxiety disorder" that leaves me with very, very few real friends. Most people are willing to be nice to me, willing to take whatever I am willing to give, but when I have an anxiety attack people who claim to be my friend do things like call me a crazy bitch to my face... then I just don't consider that person a friend any more. I continue to try to be kind and giving, but I have learned to love people the best I can with no expectation they will even like me. There is a funny thing about being diagnosed... everyone can blame all tension in a relationship on my crazy, no one has to own their own shit or apologize to me about anything. If I am upset with them, it is because I am crazy not because they did something like call me a crazy bitch when I was already hurting... 🤦
It is OK, I have a few people who are tried and true lifelong friends, that is more than many people have. Plus, the Universe gave me the most amazing husband on the planet, and on the occasion that I get too lonely I just remember what Jackson Browne said...
Anyway that's how it seems, it's hard to tell
Maybe people only ask you how you're doing
'Cause that's easier than letting on how little they could care
But when you know that you've got a real friend somewhere
Suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear"
OK, did anyone really read all that?! I did not mean to get into all that, it just sort of poured out. That is either the world's longest introduction or the world's shortest autobiography... LOL!
THANK YOU 
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