I usually wonder
Why i had to wake up early
To go to the farm
Before i went to school
While others boast of new uniforms
And three square meals a day
I could boast of a torn cloth
And a good night kiss a day
I usually wonder
Why after school others went home
But i had to hawk till dawn
Until the sun was gone
My sister was no different
She hawked all day so i could go to school
She sacrificed so much for me
She was only 15
I usually wonder
Why i was chased from school everytime
While others stayed behind and laughed at me
I carried my mangoes and off to work i went
And each time i was chased
I could hear mum cry
I saw the pain in dads eyes
I knew sister was hurting too
I usually wonder
Why we had no meat to eat
If at all we had anything to eat
But dad works so hard
And one day i saw dad finally crying
And mum on the floor weeping
They said they found sister
Raped, murdered and dumped like some garbage
That day dad swore
I would never have to hawk again
He promised
It would get better
But the next day
Dad was caught stealing bread
He was stripped naked, beaten and lynched
And finally set ablaze
Mum heard the news and collasped
Right in front of me
And i cried all day
I stood in tears
No one cared about us
They called mum a witch
While her only wish
Was for me to have one more dish
And one day
I found mum hanging lifeless on a rope
With a note which said
"Dear son, when the pain gets unbearable, end it"
I had no more tears to shed
So this is me ending it
As i prayed silently for HELP
But none came
So i stood where mum once stood
And placed my neck on a rope to be hung
In tears i asked "where is God"
And close my eyes to oblivion
Then i heard a knock
I waited for the person to go away
But the knock kept coming
And i rushed and opened the door
There stood a boy of 7years
Smiled to me and said
"Hello mister, Jesus loves you"
Handed me a note and left
I opened the note
Fell on my knees and cried
As i read the note
Which said
"I AM God, and i am always with you"
See he found me
In my deepest demise
So i stoped to wonder
For i now know
Where God is