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One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding meditation and spirituality is that it’s all about doing yoga on the beach with a beautiful sunset. You can see tons of advertising talking about the benefits of meditation, how it lowers anxiety and boosts concentration, bla, bla, blah. But no one talks about the dark side.
I have read about more than one “meditation experience” that turned out to be horrifying and to obscure to handle. I think the people who lived these experiences were doing something terribly right as they were able to tap into the darker regions of their consciousness. Their only problem was that they were not prepared to accept it.
The need to write about this stemmed from some experiences I’ve had lately that involve a lot of fear and the ego trying to catch my attention by proposing painful images and unwanted sensations. To deal with this I have been working permanently on feeling and embracing the proposals of the ego instead of running away.
Some time ago my answer would of been: “those are negative thoughts, let's focus on the positive thoughts”. But I’ve begin to feel that this mindset is just like putting a blindfold and denying to see things as they are. If we see positivity as focusing on getting the things we like then we remain in duality, judging that this is good and that is bad.
I’m not saying one shouldn’t be positive but I think that there are deeper levels of consciousness that can only be appreciated when we stop denying what is going on within. So when unpleasant or unwanted feelings, emotions and thoughts begin to creep in I remind myself:
“Don’t reject, let it sit in, observe and be”.
Is this approach to meditation better? Does it have greater benefits? Maybe those aren’t the right questions because meditation isn’t a competition. Anyone who is looking within and expanding their awareness of the present is already meditating and there are many different paths to achieving this.
What I can say is that if meditation is done with the exclusive desire of bringing positive things into your life it may become counter-productive. It will work sometimes but when it doesn’t you will experience frustration and new anxieties.
In my opinion, meditating can be dark and freaky. It can become a true inner storm. But if you can find peace and serenity amidst this storm, then you don’t have to worry about positivity or negativity. You can see difficult situations with a clearer mind and your reactions will reflect this.
It's funny I wrote this just before I entered a very chaotic week full of inner pain and having a hard time letting go. Thankfully I was able to remember what I had written and it became of great help on dealing with those hard times. I hope it can be equally helpful to someone else out there.
I wish you a very conscious and accepting week!