Last days in Maringá were an absolute nightmare as I caught one of the worst flues I've ever experienced as an adult. Brasil is known for it's dangerous sicknesses and here was my introduction to this.
It didn't help to not have a place to just rest and let it pass. Everyday we were thrown out of the shelter at 8 a.m. and I had to carry the weight of my equipment with an ever decreasing strength of body.
Fortunately there was another place called POP center, reasonably close by where we went for a shower and snacks, and I started to just stay there on the grass most of the day.
The view while laying in the grass
The people there offered me meds but I don't like pills for they just alleviate symptoms and not heal the illness itself. Also, side effects. It actually took me quite a while to find out what the illness was, meaning the emotional imbalance that I was carrying around to bring me into this state, but that probaly deserves an entire post as it's a deep dive.
Suffice to say that as soon as I found the root and had the corresponding emotional breakdown, healing happened in a matter of hours.
Just a photo of the shelter where I stayed most of the time in Maringá
The last night was the worst because I stayed with a couple that were from Colombia and Argentina drinking some beers and they had two tents so we were supposed to stay in them. Problem was that they were also drinking cachaça which is a strong alcohol a lot of people are hooked on in Brasil.
As the night progressed she became increasingly violent, she hit the guy several times with her fists and it was no lady-like punch. Then she even hit him with his juggling clubs. He did lose his temper, he screamed and threw shit around but he had enough self-control to not hit her back, which I find quite admirable.
After some violence they reconciled, but then they got violent again. The same cycle happened countless times during the night.
In truth she was an absolute demon. Manipulative and completely twisting with words what was evidently a bad behavior on her behalf. And he was an absolute fool for putting up with all that shit. I remembered myself as a child seeing my parents in their violent moments, which is part of the deep dive that led to my healing.
Waiting to enter the shelter with a badass fever and a whole bunch of other sick fellas
In the end I preferred to sleep in the street than to go with them to the tent. At first I would try to mediate but by the end of the night all I was thinking was: "just fucking kill yourselves already".
I managed to prepare myself a decent bed despite the lack of strength and endless coughing, sleeping until dawn. I was satisfied with my vigilance as I detected the couple of times people got close to me but didn't wake up out of paranoia.
Next day I stayed in a park feeding the pidgeons and looking for the strength to carry my body outside of the city, which I finally managed.
Now I am on my way to a volunteer exchange in a place in Nature where the host is vegetarian and does therapies 💚 Should be a positive change of conditions :)
