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Yesterday, when I was on my way to a naming ceremony, I branched a shop to withdraw money for transport. While I was yet settled, a discussion was going on on the radio news, and it was on the topic "Why do women act strong even when they are not strong?" The guest speaker replied that "women act strong because they are born into a society, a world where they are told that they are feeble, that they do not have the capacity to do anything other than cook, farm, and give birth.
Over the years, in the western part of Africa, women were treated as tools by family, husbands, and society at large. Sending a woman to school was then a waste of time and resources since she would get married and her name would change anyway.
As time passed, women realized that they are more than housewives.
They believed they had the same capacity to study and do other lucrative work as men, so they came together, formed unions, and advocated literacy and independence—to think and take certain decisions for themselves, among themselves, and since then, women have risen up to the social ladder of nations. Women like Mrs. Ransome Kuti, Maya Angelo, and Madam Yoko are a few of the examples of such women who, through their leadership prowess and bold acclamation, set good examples for us and generations to come.
Women have learned to not show their weakness because they want to debunk what the society believed. They want to prove to themselves that they are greater than what society rates them as and that they are not just mothers to the two, three, four, or five children they gave birth to but a mother to a nation. A building rock, one whom when the nation is in its falling state, she holds firm with her heart, love, and compassion.
However, one should not give a blind eye to the bias wall most women have built between them and the male gender. Just like how the quest for power has turned many into infidels and tyrants, women's quest for a voice, equality, and independence has turned them into sexists. Seeing men as threats instead of partners in businesses, husbands, and friends. Advocating for a girl child's right in a coed school rather than togetherness. Neglecting the boys in the family even when they need that hug, that care, that compassion. Believing they will come through it, moreover, "they are boys." Telling them to suppress painful emotions even when it's tearing them apart.
Another is, most women act like what has been told to the men to practice.
"Toughness." Yeah, we should be tough, but what if the weight is too much?? No man, woman is an island. We need shoulders to lean on and a confidant to trust our fears to. Yes, women should be independent, but that does not mean when you are broken and hurt, you should not pour it out. I am not saying you should let the whole world know what you are going through, but, dears, you have a mother, a father, siblings, teachers, mentors, and friends. Whomever you feel comfortable with, go to them and pour out those painful emotions so you won't break.
Remember, women are the building block of a nation. Without us, the world would be almost empty. That is why you should not just be a mother or sister to the two, three, or five children or siblings you gave birth to or have. Be a mother and sister to a nation.
Talk to someone when you need to. "Need," not want. When those emotions want to tear you down, pour it out!!
Lets pick up the legacy from the likes of Mrs. Funmilayo Ransome Kuti, Maya Angelou, and all the great women who took the great steps that we live by now!!