Life is a series of events, some we can predict others just happen, completely out of our control.
Hello #sliverbloggers I have been going through some strange experiences lately and I wanted to see if any of you have had similar events in your lives. I know I am not unique, I am an average woman, a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. I love my life; I have been blessed in so many ways.
As I push closer to the big 7-0 I worry that I am unprepared to deal with the inevitable, death.
In the United States the average life expectancy as of 2020 was 73.7 according to "Copilot" an AI tool that just popped up in my computer. Go figure. But most websites I visited had women outliving men by a few years.
That's my worst fear, my hubby goes before me. I don't think I could handle it.
After 48 years together, we are best friends. We can almost read each other's thoughts, he is the ying to my yang.
I have been dwelling on this nonsense since my friend 
I have been running over in my mind, how would I continue to live where I am now? I love our farm, but it is in the wilderness, the snow piles up in winter, and the electricity goes out in heavy rain and wind. Some raccoons tear up the garbage, porcupines, skunks cruise the night and mice invade the house at certain times of the year and need to be trapped. We hear the wolves howl in the darkness.
Then there are the humans. We have been broken into twice when we were not here and been stolen from when we left the shop open, a $900 chain saw was their first choice.
Now the bookkeeping...Bob takes care of everything. I just ask, can I spend? I never handled any of the money deal, but my man tells me I will be MORE than fine in that department. Thanks babe.
Gosh, I am so lucky to have him, but what will I do if he goes first? I know it sounds morbid, but I am afraid, so much so I am having nightmares.
Twice I had to be awakened while screaming in the night. I woke up with tears running down my face. The very worst was a dream as I was doing CPR ON BOB.
WTF
Hey #silverbloggers, have any of you had this experience? Am I a lunatic? Should I seek help? Although I would have to travel many miles to find a qualified professional.
I am strong, but maybe a boost from those who have gone through this can give some advice. I would so love to hear from any community that may have good counsel from experience.
Strange things are happening to me, I usually have sweet dreams.
A big shout out to my gal pals 
Much love,
Jackie O
