Thursday, 2nd of March 2023 [51]
This week has been one hell of a ride, especially at work. On Monday my solar weather app was going crazy. I had over 100 notifications, as the solar storm was approaching. I’ve never seen quite this many notifications ever since I downloaded this app 5 years ago.
When I first got interested in solar weather we were experiencing solar minimum. Back then KP values would be between 0 and 2 most of the time with an occasional sun spot that would kick it up to Kp4 - Kp5, which is an equivalent to G1 solar storm. During those storms, those who live in Northern countries are able to see Aurora Borealis otherwise known as Northern Lights.
Seeing all those notifications I headed to Solar Weather Prediction Centre to check it out:
I was surprised to see Kp 7, which is equivalent to G3 solar storm! I've never seen a Kp 7 candle on this chart before. I expressed my shock out loud to my colleagues and Danny said it’s allover the news and it will be possible to see Northern Lights from most areas of UK. Well, that was exciting, but I also remembered all the things I learned in a self development group back in 2018.
The reason why we can see those spectacular Northern Lights is because of sun spots, little light balls/explosions on the sun. When those balls are big enough, they can penetrate Earth’s magnetic field, causing the appearance of Aurora Borealis.
My teacher back then explained that just as those sun spots affect Earth’s magnetic field, they also affect each one of us magnetic fields, steering things up and aggregating or giving us energy to ‘fly’ depending where we are vibration wise.
Well, for me it was a no brainer which way it was going to go. I have been frustrated with work ever since our new quality director joined the team and it directly affects my private life too. Last weekend I offloaded all my work frustrations on one of my besties and I made up a plan of what to do next to avoid the confrontations with the new boss.
Apart from removing myself from involvement in documentation creation and putting my head down to inspection, I was also planning on spending some time on grounding my vibration and re-introducing meditation.
All would be well I guess if I followed my own advice, but of course I avoided meditation like a fire. Just another way I self-sabotage myself. Postpone the things that I know are of great value to my wellbeing, so I can moan how shitty everything is 😉
Monday at work was crazy. New boss wants to have a meeting about meeting followed by a meeting, aggravating the whole department. The rebel in me wants to strangle him. This time he decided that meetings don’t work as he hoped for and he sent us an email with a table that we shall fill in in the morning with our tasks for the day and then at 3:30pm send it again with achievement for the day and plans for the following day.
I rolled my eyes again. He wants to introduce flipping corporate bs coupled with school. Are we gonna also collect stars ⭐️ for the achievement of the day and get a sweetie if we collect enough stars ⭐️?
The other 2 inspectors got all stressed, trying to fill their tables with tasks which took them an hour or so each, while I put one thing on my list and called it a day. I ignored the 3:30pm email and when he came down to our office to ‘talk about it’ and asked me how long it will take me to complete my task I said it will take as long as it takes.
I came back home wiped out from the aggravation and fall asleep on my sofa way earlier than usual. No Northern Lights for me. My North is facing right towards the city where the biggest light pollution is and I had no energy to drive somewhere where I could see it.
On Tuesday morning my colleague told me his dad and him went out to their garden, hoping to see something, but the sky was too cloudy to enjoy it.
When my new boss came over I told him I have 2 tasks and I want him to decide which one is a priority. Afterwords I sent him the stupid table with the task of his choice and called it a day.
After my morning break our production manager asked me if we could have a meeting about the priorities 🙄 Another flipping time wasting meeting. I came back from my break and saw my new boss with the production manager gathered around Justin’s (my other inspector colleague) station. The explained that they want to find ways to offload Justing and I said that we are already doing it.
I could feel myself getting frustrated and when one of them asked me how long it will take me to complete the FAIR I am working on I totally flipped.
‘Do you even know what actually goes into the completion of the FAIR?’ I asked.
Of course none of them did, yet they try to put the time stamp on something they have no idea about. In raised voice I explained for the 5th time to my new boss all that has to happen to complete FAIR. I also added that it is impossible to say how long it will take, because each component has a different amount of dimensions with various levels of complexity and that whatever estimate I give him, it will be wrong, because in reality it will take shorter or longer.
Afterwards I cleaned my machine for the arrival of the engineer who was going to come to fix it and got busy preparing the template for Justin’s FAIR and… writing my resignation. I could not take this bs anymore. I have never dealt with this amount of incompetent people trying to organise my workload. Plus all the bs meetings due to one asshole trying to show the management that he’s in control. Not my fault that he has the unworthiness issues.
Once completed I handed my notice to my old boss. I said I can’t handle this stress anymore and he asked:
‘What about all the rest of us? How are we to handle this?’
Well, at that time I was too agitated to think about the rest of them. Bless him, he was so stressed that he said it has to be in the envelope and run away. Soon enough the engineer arrived to fix my machine and it was no time to deal with it. He spent a few hours replacing parts and chatting to us about taking over our servicing for all the measuring machines. Mood has lightened and when my old boss brought me the envelope I left it on my desk and decided to sleep on it.
I went home and went to sleep early again, but before I did I went for a longer walk to calm down and in my bed I sat to meditate for the first time in a long time. I picked the tapping guided meditation, which a friend recorded for me, which is great for dealing with any issues at hand. I knew that my aggravation was only partly due to my annoying new boss.
‘As within, so without’ they say.
The source of my aggravation had to be in me and I knew it was time to stop avoiding dealing with it. My tears were running during this meditation, which in a way made it easier to fall sleep.
On Wednesday I was well rested and thanks God, until the end of March my new boss only works in our company on Mondays and Tuesdays. I was very quiet and so were my colleagues. There were no smiling faces and jokes. My little team was feeling down.
I sent the stupid table to my new boss with the comment that this is the only one for the next 2 days, while my other colleagues stressed again about filling theirs. I told the younger one that he is digging himself a hole with filling up those tables with all the tasks and time frames as stupido will come and ask him about the completion of every single one the following day.
While asking my second colleague, Justin, about some dimensions in the form he sent me and I found out that he has been filling them at home. He simply has not enough time and silence while at work to fulfil all his tasks.
My heart broke just a little bit. Poor guy is so stressed out, but it is not in his nature to stand up for himself the way I do. So he takes all the bs and then takes work home to comply. That was so unfair. He has been doing this job successfully for 15 years without anyone trying to organise his workload. Now he has to comply with some corporate bs and has not enough time to actually do his job.
Next time I saw my old boss, I told him all about it and he promised to deal with it. In the second part of the day, when all 5 of us were in the room I said I will not give him the envelope with my resignation, because I slept on it and things calm down when stupido is not around and I feel bad for leaving them all alone in this shit.
Suddenly there were smiles and jokes again and they asked me if I’ll be handing in my notice every Monday and Tuesday and retracting it on Wednesday or Thursday. I laughed and said it is very possible. The storm was over for now.
Before the end of work I chatted with Justin about other ways I can support him, so he can breathe without stress again. It will not happen over night, but slowly I will write more and more programs to automate some of his tasks. I think he was pleased.
I went home, I danced with the mirror, did a little yoga and meditated again. The storm might be over, but I knew there is plenty more work to do. No matter how long or short, but I want to make meditation my daily habit again. When next solar storm happens and it will, because we’re heading into solar maximum with the peak in 2024, I wanna fly rather than loose my shit.
This morning when I walked into my office I saw this on my wall:
For a little while I admired the artwork before asking Danny who did this. My ‘love letter’ from another colleague and tulip from Valentines Day looked pretty sad next to this new, bright addition.
Danny, Aiden and I tried to investigate it for a few minutes, before Justin put his hand up to say it was him. I was blown away and thanked him for this beautiful gift.
He is a very quiet person, although we’re rolling on the floor when he cracks a joke, always perfectly timed. This little gesture meant a lot to me. He must have spent quite some time working on every detail of this piece. I was very happy and showed it to everyone who came to my office.
An hour or so later our director and HR lady came and grabbed Justin to the office. Danny and I were wondering what has happened, but when he came back he reassured us that it was all good. They said they knew how busy he was and told him he didn’t have to take work home to catch up, as they will try to help and offload him. Only then I put 2 and 2 together. It was because of my comment to my old boss yesterday.
I looked on my wall with that bright piece of art he prepared for me and I smiled. I remembered the words I once heard from that teacher I mentioned earlier:
‘After the release, there is always a gift’ she said.
My gift was pretty bright today.
My new boss replied to my yesterday’s email with 👍 and needless to say I haven’t sent another one today. And Danny? Danny got a ‘disappointed’ email from him saying he didn’t receive the afternoon email with updates.
I didn’t have to say ‘I told you so’. I think this is when it sank in that complying to new boss’es bs he’s only inviting more shitty, time consuming interaction. I forgot to ask if he sent another list to him this morning. I very much doubt it.
At lunch the sun was shining and tears were rolling down my face. Only during my walk I allowed myself this moment. I was so very touched by Justin’s gift today. His little way of saying ‘thank you for staying with us, this is your place’.
How could I think of leaving them all? While I’m more than capable of standing up for myself, most of my colleagues are not. They need a crazy women like me to fight their corner when necessary. I guess that’s what I will continue doing for as long as my patience lasts 😉
Until next time 💙
| Camera: | iPhone11 | |
|---|---|---|
| Photographer: |  @fantagira | |
| Screenshots source: | Space Weather website |
