Emptiness : Tourneur de la vide

The piercing pang of the heart, when you see the man you desire at this moment the most, is someone else's possession, perhaps is one of the most strongest emotion that goes beyond any repercussion.

Being the best possible of a vigilant individual indeed prevails to possess plethora of self-control upon thyself, which derive one to be victorious unlike the "normal" people, who are the majority.

Yes, people might regard it as boring or fearful of the consequences or even might accuse for not living the life fullest, however, who belongs to that sphere of ideology do not concern with the thought process.

And perhaps people who are often unnecessarily yet immensely compassionate towards even a stray cat, are the people who are convicted of being overly cautious of emotions or attachment and being all mechanical and calculative. Yet, can you really blame them, for saving themselves for the trouble of prioritizing their psychological well being over the temporary and inevitable deoxidation of attachment?

I do not really like smoking but also cannot demand to the idea of disliking it is correct either or not that I indulge it much. Somehow, as childish perhaps as it might sound, I gradually grew to like the idea of smoking, mind my words fellow, not the smoke itself but the notion, the time spent with smoke and in smoking, the momentums.

Amusingly, occasionally or maybe almost scarcely, such as at this moment, I quite take pleasure in this smoking process, where I prefer this postulation that I am solemnly in an spiteful agony of overwhelming emotions, I am puzzled to give it a name. I am enjoying the momentous smoking as if blowing all of these unwanted sensation through the process exhalation as forcibly as probable, where I almost can't sense the bitterness I usually feel.

I am a great admirer of sublimity and everything that represent it regardless of its absurdity or seemingly foolish as it does.
When men make some great effort to draw my attention towards them, make themselves noticeable amongst many of faceless souls from the surrounding, it’s another sweet sublimity I cannot defy!
Or perhaps I do not wish to fall into defiance out of sheer lustrous affinity towards self entertainment, which barely make its way through.

However, every time that has happened, it is I who fell into the pit of despairing agony of these unwanted yet unwarranted bitter-sweet emotions.
And yet, I would never learn a lesson and indulge ever after only to repeat the same cycle I machocistically adore so much!

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