I woke up hating Beatrice. Who do these light skins think they are? How can u strangle me with coldness? How do you go to a man’s house and just leave like that? I cursed myself for inviting her. How can you eat my food, shower, sleep and just jump out like a grasshopper. It’s while I was thinking of the best revenge when my phone started lighting. I had turned it to silent mode for I thought it wanna be a great night.
‘Hi sweetheart?’ it was Rita on line. She relieved my pain, she made my mind divert from the fake church girl.’Umelala aje?’ she continued. ‘Nimelala poa dear’ I lied. That night was the worst since the day I quit wetting the bed.
I started falling for Rita. I told you guys, the best love story is with the least unexpected person. She sounded sweet on call. If you have realised a woman’s voice is so sweet immediately she has woken. Rita turned my mind from that of a hater to a lover. It was a Sunday morning after all. We spoke for about 30mins. She told me how her Saturday was and how she had missed my company.
By the time she hanged up my battery had started warning me. After about 3mins my phone vibrated. KLC677YHSFJ6 Confirmed 3027 received from Rita Wambui. Current balance 7426. Shortly another text followed.’that’s for your breakfast dear. Wish we shared together ‘she affirmed. I replied and thanked her for being a shoulder to lean on. I placed my phone on charge and went to shower.
On my return I found 3 missed calls. Rita had tried reaching me. I bought airtime from mpesa and called her back. She received and told me ‘hang wacha nikukol’. I tell you when a woman is in love she can do anything including calling you back, a thing not common with an average Kenyan lady.
She called and made a request, ‘Dear nataka kukuomba favour na please naomba usikatae’. The last time a lady asked a favour from me it was cash related, which she never refunded at the end of the week. I knew Rita isn’t that type. In 4 days she had sent me like 10k. ‘Go ahead dear’ I responded. ‘Do you mind us going for dinner tonight’? No man can decline such an offer, kwanza ukiskia kuna ‘foods’.’No problem dear, what time?’ I inquired. At 6pm we were entering a high end restaurant at Westlands.The first time I set foot in such a joint. It’s like Rita had a prior arrangement with the waiters. The moment we entered we were ushered to a private nicely lit section. It had two doors, one at the entry and the other to I think the balcony. It had only one table with two chairs. It was quiet, ample and nicely lit with a fresh fragrance striking my nose. I later learnt the second door leads to another room and not the balcony. We started talking and then the waiter approached to ask for our orders. I requested for beef bourguinon and her flaminche with milk shake( google kama hujui hizo ndo nini). Do you expect me to go to a five star and request for chipo kuku or chapo chafua the way I do nikienda kwa Njugunas keg bar and café.
When the food was brought she changed topic. ‘How old are you?’ She asked. Am 24 by Feb nxt year I will be 25’ I answered. ’24 yet you behave so mature than 40 something old men I know. ‘What of you, how old are you?’. I know it is criminal to ask a woman her age but I played it so carefully. ‘Am 38’ she responded. ’38 yet you look like a sweet 16’ I complemented her. She blushed. ‘I love your dimples btw’ I added. She smiled shyly and thanked me. I knew I have scored an extra point. Men make it an habit to complement your women. She asked for my opinion on the marriage between French president Emmanuel Macron and Bridget his wife. I knew this question is technical and I needed a technical answer. ‘Mhhhh (as I reviewed my answers from my book of treachery) age is but a number, ‘I answered. ‘As long as there is love they are good to go. I continued. I told her how influential she was in Macrons victory. I explained how her middle upper class upbringing had made Macrons aides and inner circle think she is the current day Marie Antoinette ( Louis sixteenth wife who had ordered the French to
eat cake if they couldn’t afford bread. If your remember 1789 French revolution)
I saw Rita had started getting bored with the story. By the way ukiona dame ameanza kuitika tu ati ‘Mh’ kwa story jua amelose interest. I quickly changed the story after delivering the point: age is but a number. To bring her back I told her how I admired her dress and how the tailor had curved so well the cleavage part. I brought her smile back as she pulled it up a bit‘I love you Conrad’ she said looking down. She was shy. I did not know the right answer to give. From nowhere music started playing. Immediately she took my hand and directed me for a dance. We danced so seductively. At some instances she could make me sit for a lap dance just to keep me in the mood. As the song played, she blind folded me. She took my hand and led me to the other door I told you about. She opened it. She removed the blind fold and what I saw surprised me: A king size bed with a white cover. On it red flower petals were sprinkled with an inscription, ‘WELCOME HOME LOVE’. Somehow she had decided to revenge on Beatrice, the church girl who left my house like a grasshopper. The girl she housed as she waited to join campus. The girl who made me sing nimedungwa sindano which had not been injected nor injected. A wine bottle with two glasses stood on the bedside stool. She turned the light to dim blue making the whole room heaven on earth. I swear no man, on earth or in heaven can stand such a vexation. She smiled an indication she had won. ‘Do you love me Conrad?’ She whispered again. Before I could finish nodding, she pushed me with her index finger to the king size bed
