As long as this strange year lasts, I will continue to talk about how strange it is! With my new job, it seemed to me that my saturation with events and photos would decrease, but it only intensified. I was afraid that I would take less pictures, but I only got more...and diversity returned to the state of 2021 (it was the most intense and diverse year then). Although other previous years were not inferior, but in some ways they were even better.
The strange thing is that despite the intensity and density of my work, I have fallen somewhere, into some kind of emptiness, as if I don't notice anything around me.
That's because since June, I've stopped traveling to remote, quiet, remote places and feeding off their atmosphere...because of the breakdown of the car, which I still can't fix.
Yes, things still haven't gotten off the ground. The universe does not want to unblock these journeys for me in any way.
Meanwhile, I have already visited Veliky Ustyug three times in the last month and a half.
I traveled half the region, visited both capitals (Moscow and St. Petersburg), flew by plane, helicopter, and took the train...I've seen a lot of people. And with all this, there is no reportage drive...there is emptiness inside.
I haven't been on the reporting wave for over a month. But not for any other reason...not at all!
I don't even know what I want...It's not scary to want anything anymore...I just don't want to anymore.
I'm sure I'll connect to something very soon, fix the car (or already will buy some cheap one just to drive). It's difficult to fight the system, but there are chances.
The system is checking whether I can live without the fuel from loneliness and night walks in villages and nature...even without a car, on foot, or by bike, I try to get far away from the city (although I love it too) and walk somewhere in the field, absorbing the smells of herbs, damp lowlands, fragrant smoke from sauna stoves, and the smell of river water...
..At that bright sunset, I was still with the car, happy, carefree...I enjoyed the colors of nature, waited for the moon to rise...I can't imagine what kind of ordeal awaits me.
