Current Crypto-Market Analysis
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by
Pigeon DollBlood
famed financial analyst
He walked over to the window and reflected on his electronic surroundings. He had always hated complex CyberSpace with its cuddly, curved computers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sneezy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Ethereum . Ethereum was a giving queen with handsome ankles and fluffy lips.
BitCoin gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a stingy, smelly, Long Island Ice Tea drinker with dirty ankles and ruddy lips. His friends saw him as an oily, obnoxious ogre. Once, he had even revived a dying, lite coin.
But not even a stingy person who had once revived a dying, lite coin, was prepared for what Ethereum had in store today.
The drizzle rained like laughing horses, making BitCoin lonely.
As BitCoin stepped outside and Ethereum came closer, he could see the eager glint in his eye.
Ethereum gazed with the affection of 6845 splendid kind koalas. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want revenge."
BitCoin looked back, even more lonely and still fingering the ethereal ruler. "Ethereum, exterminate," he replied.
They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, like two raspy, rainy rats jogging at a very popular Coin Market Crash, which had rap music playing in the background and two incredible uncles chatting to the beat.
Suddenly, Ethereum lunged forward and tried to punch BitCoin in the face. Quickly, BitCoin grabbed the ethereal ruler and brought it down on Ethereum's skull.
Ethereum's handsome ankles trembled and his fluffy lips wobbled. He looked afraid, his emotions raw like a selfish, screeching sandwich.
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Ethereum was dead.
BitCoin went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Long Island Ice Tea.
